My Hockey Boy

Chapter 31

Haley's POV

My eyes traveled to the time once again. 5:30 a.m. Luckily, I had slipped into my house without my mother realizing I had come back. I assumed she thought I was coming home later this morning anyway so she wasn't waiting up for me or anything.

But I couldn't sleep. Ever since I left Charlie's house, my eyes have refused to shut. Why? Why can't I stop thinking about him? Everything he does, every little action is replaying itself over and over again in my mind. I know I shouldn't be reminiscing in these things but I can't help it.

I can't lay here any longer with those images just throwing themselves at me. I have to leave. Not to see him but just to get away from it. I can't go to talk to Jo about any of this because oh yeah she's a backstabbing bitch. Wes isn't one I want to exactly "pour my feelings" out to. My mom won't be up for another hour or so and the last option isn't allowed. And that is going to Charlie. He and I both know how that will end. It will send us right back into that cycle we just can't seem to break.

I kicked off the new covers I had to put on to replace the ones I had ripped off before going to my closet to slip into a pair of jeans and an old hoodie. I ignored the fact that I was still wearing Charlie's shirt as I tied the laces on my converse. Grabbing my keys and pulling the hood of my jacket over my hair, I made my way downstairs and out the door as silently as possible. I knew if my mom ever found out all the things I was doing between running out on Jo in the middle of the night, going to Charlie's house, coming back to our house, then finally leaving again, she'd know something was up. And I didn't want her to worry. I was mature enough to handle all of this and fight my own battles. She didn't have to carry the weight on her shoulders of that constant worry anymore because I knew what I had to do. Even if I made a mistake here or there. I knew the difference between right and wrong, at least I hope I do.

Where I'm going now might not be the best option but I can't stay in my house any longer.

****

As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed my car and one other were the only two in the space. I didn't expect to see a car here but it wasn't one I recognized so I shrugged it off. I laid back in the driver's seat, peering over the large sign that read "Ice House" on it. Why did I come here again? I pondered to myself as my subconscious rudely replied back saying, "Because you are Haley. Stupid, stupid Haley who doesn't know what else to do with her pathetic life."

I mentally blocked the tiny voice out as I took in a sharp breath of air before soothingly exhaling. I tried shutting my eyes, just imagining the times Charlie and I have had at this rink, the good ones. But I still couldn't fully go to sleep. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the shock of this whole Jo situation or the fact that I'm still clueless on what to do about Charlie. It's not as simple as we get back together and everything is perfect. There are so many factors that work into it that I would lose my mind if I had to process them all. And that damn lie. Not on his part but on mine. The one I still haven't told the truth on. He deserves to know. I realize that and I know once I tell him it may be the end of us. For good. But how do you tell someone you lied about...

"Excuse me? Miss?" My thoughts were interrupted by an older man knocking on my window. I noticed the emblem on his jacket that was the same as the one for the rink before rolling it down so he could fully see me.

"Yes?" I must've looked like I just got hit by a bus as his eyes momentarily gazed over my appearance.

"Are you ok? You know it's about 6 a.m, right?" He raised his eyebrows at me as I nodded.

"Yeah, I just ... um ..." I began to stutter as he lifted his hand to have me cease trying to explain.

"It's no trouble. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to rob me or anything." The man lightly chuckled as I laughed along with him.