That's My Girl. // (B.U.)

Someone please help

This may be upsetting to a few people an I'm sorry I just felt that it was an important thing to address.

I've honestly lost track of the days, it's probably been about a week or so. I honestly didn't care at this point. My day consisted of wake up, go to school, come home, sleep. My depression was creeping back more and more recently and ugh I feel worse and worse everyday. I've not eaten as much, I've been sleeping to much, I'm super pale and I don't make any interactions anymore, when ever someone tries to speak to me I'm already alseep. This is ruining my life and I just can't stop it. I haven't even been making any effort my grades have gone drastically down in just one week my teachers fear for me, I've tried to get help but nothing is working. You know them moments were your so happy and nothing could stop you but then depression kills you inside, yeah that feeling. I have no reason to be like this but every single piece of meat is being picked from my bones right now. I couldn't control my actions everything started happening fast I couldn't focus on what I was doing and what was going on, slice. I'm a coward. I'm not breve enough to make the scars on me as permanent as they were before, one tiny scratch on my wrist was no big deal, or so I thought. It's like everyone just turned on me because of the mistakes I made, Brendon shouted more than he used to, Harvey was more upset and ready to break up, Micheal lost all hope in me and just like that I was in the same situation I was about three years ago, the pills in my hand, the glass of water in the other. This time there was no one there to stop me. Not even Brendon cared enough to run upstairs after me, he had his own problems to deal with, he started drinking and doing drugs again so he was always high, he saw me take the pill bottle and he honestly laughed. To think this man was concerned about me the first time. I put the pills in one by one and took a sip after every one. There was no turning back now.

"Darcy, breakfast is ready your gonna be late for your band meeting" my eyes wide open, I pinch myself on the arms making sure this was real life. I started crying, the dream scared me so much I couldn't handle my emotions. I hear footsteps."oh god Darcy what's wrong shh don't cry it's ok what happened?" Brendon ran over to the bed and embraced me into a warm hug, I didn't wanna let go, I was so scared from the dream I couldn't believe that that could come a reality. I start to shake and he pulls me in closer, I bury my head in his chest and he runs his hands through my hair. I spit out everything, every last little detail of that dream, I couldn't help myself. As the words flowed out of my mouth I felt Brendon's hug getting tighter and tighter and he was not letting go. I felt his tears running down my face. "Darcy no no Darcy, I..I..I love you more than anything in the world I could never do something like that to you don't ever think that please I'm here for you don't ever forget that your more important than anything in my life if you ever feel like this again come to me please Darc, I couldn't imagine a life without you.." He is now balling his eyes out, I just didn't know what to do anymore, I didn't want to let go I felt.. I felt safe in his arms, no where else but here.

Band practice was brought over to Brens house as the current situation, I got changed into some pjs, wrapped the blanket around me and sat there with a hot cocoa, my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying. Micheal, Bri and John all turn up knowing the current situation they all comforted me but not in a bombarding way like I was not feeling overwhelmed, we talked about set lists, stage positions and stuff like that. I started to feel a lot better around the people who do truly love me. But it was weird I hadn't heard from Harvey for a while, I missed the last two days of school as I got the flu and he hasn't visited or asked me if I was ok. These are things the worry me when something like what just occurred happens. I decided to text him asking him if he wanted to go for a coffee sometime. I nervously tapped my phone as the rest of them spoke about the tour, you could tell they were super excited. My phone buzzed and I immediately checked it, just some stupid app. My heart was still racing. I felt my eyes tear up but I didn't let them fall. I sat their tapping my cup staring into space.

We finally finished the meeting and I saw the boys out. I snuggled up in the blanket and walked to the kitchen. I just sat there for a while with my head on the counter. I then notice a note on the side of the fridge. I get up, walk to it and grab it it read, "just periscoping in the studio be about 20 minutes" I sighed and walked back to the living room. I really wanna do more things with Bren and Sarah, life family outings and stuff but because we don't want anyone to know yet it's hard, we just can't be a normal family yet. I must have fallen asleep because I am awoken by Brendon shouting me down for breakfast. Oh shit wait, I only have one week of school left until the holidays. I suddenly burst back into my usual self as all I could think about was tour. I ran to my window and looked outside, it was surprisingly warm out so I decided to wear one of my new skirts. I picked out this nice cream coloured one and a black crop turtle neck to match. Of course I had to still represent so I straightened my hair and put on my panic! SnapBack. I did my usual makeup and walked out of the bathroom, I grabbed my glasses and my phone and ran downstairs. I ate my breakfast really quick threw on some flats and waited for Harvey's mum patiently at the door. Brendon just watched me the whole time laughing his ass off. A car pulled up outside but it wasn't the car I was used to.

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Jesus what is wrong with me I'm so sorry for the start of this chapter I thought it would be more interesting to start it off and I can elaborate it into the story more later on.