Friendzoned

Thirty-Nine: Helpless

Helpless

***Madison***

After Joseph left with my mother, I headed upstairs obediently and went straight to bed.

I'll admit, I had an awesome day but it was long and tiring nonetheless, so I was a little worn out.

And I didn't want to get scolded by my mother after today. I was in a good mood, happy and de-stressed.

But as soon as my head crashed into my pillow and my body nicely tucked in beneath my bed sheets, all I could think about was Joseph.

Joseph Evergreen.

With his sweet little smile. Electric blue eyes. Slightly disheveled brown hair. Melodious laughter. His cute little button nose.

His everything was basically etched in my mind.

Is this how it feels like to have a crush?

You lay awake and think about them all night, and because you laid awake thinking about them all night you can't get the needed rest.

I mean, I've had crushes before of course, if I didn't, I wouldn't have gotten friendzoned so many times.

But this crush...it feels different. I've never laid awake at night thinking about that certain crush.

I've never felt so nervous around that certain crush.

The more reason why I'm so afraid to tell Joseph how I feel because...I don't want to be rejected.

I know, it sounds childish.

I'm only 16 and I'm sooo desperate for love.

Ahh, I don't know...

It's not like that...I mean, I don't want a lover or a boyfriend I guess. I just want to know that someone likes me back for who I am.

But then again, how does this all work?

I don't understand anything at all.

This is all so complicated...

I twist my body and head to the side, facing the cream walls of my bedroom.

Ugh...

What am I doing?! Why am I thinking about all this?! Why am I like this?!

It's so...nice yet frustrating.

I shut my eyes and shake my head, trying to shake thoughts about Joseph out of my mind.

I needed to get some rest.

*********
***Joseph***

We're back at the doctor's.

As much as hanging out with Madison and getting to know her more was pure bliss...I have to go back to the cruel reality.

I have eye cancer.

It's final, it's official, it's for real.

I don't know how my mum managed to hide it from me for as long as two months. I mean okay, I always knew something was weird with my eyesight.

There were symptoms.

For one, there was my blurred vision which is pretty common so I don't know if that would count. But that's one of them.

Another was wiggly lines in my vision, I noticed them but I just disregarded them.

Thinking it was nothing, nothing important. Heh, look where that got me.

There are many more symptoms in terms of eye cancer, and many that I noticed along the way but disregarded as well.

Damn it!

Why did I do this to myself?! Why did my mum keep this from me??!!

"Joseph."

A voice breaks me out of my reverie and thoughts.

It was my mum.

I was mad at her, she shouldn't have kept it from me. But how could I stay mad at her when I would've done the same.

She's smiling at me, it's tender, sensitive..and loving.

I need to let go eventually.

What's done is done.

Here I go again, being sensitive. Snap out of it Joseph!

"Yeah mum?"

"Come, the doctor would like to discuss about the treatments with you."

My mum takes my hand gently and helps me up, guiding me to the doctor's office.

Treatments huh...

What does this mean exactly?

Does this mean I won't be going to school again?

What are the treatments exactly?

Chemotherapy? No, I wouldn't know.

What does this mean for my relationship with Madison?

Am I thinking too much?

I feel...

So...

Helpless.

**********
HEY GUYYYYSSSS!!!! Ahh it's been so long, I miss you guys so muchhhh! Finally an update for Friendzoned. It's short but I hope you guys enjoy it either way. There'll be more in the next chapter. Promise!

Thank you all so much for your patience, dedication and support! Words cannot describe how grateful and happy I am to know that I have support for my stories and people reading my works.

Thank you for your time and support once again! I hope you enjoyed yourself! Stay strong and show how awesomely unique you are! <3 Alyssa.

Next update: I can't say for sure at the moment.

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