Friendzoned

Fifty-One: Just holding on.

Just holding on.

***Madison***

My mind was screaming "Fuck! get the fuck up there and stop that idiot!".

My body just started to move and I found myself running faster and more intense than I have ever ran before. The adrenaline was pumping and thankfully that gave me the stamina I needed to race up the flights of stairs and reach him.

I was in shock as well, I mean I never would've thought that Joseph would do something like this. What happened? What caused things to be so bad?! Did he tell me or talk to me at all and I just unknowingly brushed it off?! Is it me?! Did I do something?

Even the mere thought that I might have been one of the causes to force him up that roof made me want to puke. No, I...I care deeply for him. I would never mean to hurt him.

Did what I do today really affect him that much?

Could all of this be my fault?

Fuck.

What if it is...

"Joseph!" I yell as loud as I could to try and catch his attention.

"Leave me alone!" He yells back in response, the desperate cry he released was heartbreaking, he turns to fully face me and the three security guards that were able to make it up to him.

"Just...leave me alone, all of you." His eyes were filled with hot tears and his nose red, he just looked so defeated and helpless it made my heart break all the more.

"Joseph, listen to me, don't do this." I pleaded, eyes focused on him and his feet.

"Why the hell not?! You're all better off without me anyway! No one cares! No one gives a shit!"

"Stop it! You don't know that!"

"Who cares if I know or don't know! It's the truth!"

"How can you say that!?" I feel my face getting hot with adrenaline and tears, "I care! Your parents care! William cares! Heck even my parents care! How can you just say those things as though they were facts!" I scream, desperate to get him to listen.

Joseph is silent for a while as we keep eye contact and stare at each other. His electric blue eyes shone even brighter than it ever did.

I could tell he was taken aback by what I said which just made things sadder and more depressing. Does he really believe that he wasn't loved, that he wasn't cared for one bit?

What happened...?

"Why?" He breathed out, his eyes drooping sadly.

"Why what?"

"Why did you ignore me today? Why did you avoid me? Why couldn't we just talk?"

This time, I'm taken aback by what he said.

I had no idea this was on his mind the whole time, tears pour out of my eyes once more, this was my doing. I did this to him....

William was right.

"I..I'm sorry Joseph." I plead, "I-I just..I didn't know what to do, I wasn't ready to see you or talk to you yet."

His expression drops from my response and I immediately shot out, "But! That doesn't mean I didn't want things to work out between us. That doesn't mean I wasn't happy to see you, I was just overwhelmed and shocked!"

Joseph's expression contorts from disappointment to disbelief.

"Please Joseph, you have to believe me. I'm sorry. None of this is your fault. I promise."