Friendzoned

Forty-Nine: What do I do?

What do I do?

***Joseph***

I've decided.

I'm going to attempt to just talk to her like normal, then if things go smoothly and it's...okay, I'll tell her the....truth?

Ahh shit, I don't even know what to tell her if things do go well.

This is a terrible plan.

I'm terrible.

"She brought you back to us honey, she deserves some closure." These words have been echoing in my mind for so long and it's been the driving force to actually make me want to talk to her.

I'm finally going back to school again after two whole weeks. Maybe this might actually go well...

Oh God...

Here we go.

As I stepped out of the car and onto the cement pavements leading to my school, it's as though something exploded and caught everyone's attention because everyone and I say everyone, turned to look at me.

Some even waved and said hi to me.

I don't even know who they are.

As I walked into the school hallways, the sea of students immediately moved out of my way, allowing me easy passage to my class.

It was the weirdest thing getting all this attention from students or people I've never known or met.

When I finally reached my homeroom, that's when I saw her.

It's been so long since I last saw her, I almost forgot how beautiful she was.

She looked so happy, chatting away with Jessica and her new friends I suppose.

That cheery heartfelt laugh that always warmed my heart echoed in my ears as she conversed with her friends, and it made me so happy, yet so sad that I wasn't the one making her laugh that way.

My thoughts once again began to flood itself with negative thoughts and scenarios.

That maybe I should just leave her alone because she seemed to have gotten over it and probably found someone else she liked.

I stood there, unable to move for a second as I stared at her and contemplated what to do.

And then...

She turned her head ever so slightly and saw me in the corner of her eye.

She paused for a while, her eyes widening with shock. She then fully turned her head, and we were staring at each other from across the room.

Her mouth was ajar and her eyes like glass, transparent and clear, enabling me to see the emotions she was experiencing.

Well now what do we do, we've seen each other and acknowledged each other's presence. It'd be even more awkward than it already is if I didn't do anything.

My hands were reaching up to wave at her, to give her a friendly indication that we were still okay. Before I could do so she turned away, looking back at her friends who had now furrowed brows, pursed lips and worried expressions on their faces.

You know I've gotten so much attention since I stepped into the school compound, but I'd rather have no attention paid to me by everyone else except Madison.

I've received so much attention and care, except from her. The one person I want to pay attention to and her to me.

Shit.

This isn't helping.

I don't want to talk to her anymore.

I don't want to face her.

I'm back at square one. I don't know what to do. I don't know anything.

Shit.

**********

***Madison***

Shit it's Joseph. He's back after two whole weeks, we saw each other for the first time since he rejected my feelings. He was going to wave to me and I turned away, ignoring him.

Shit!

I just...don't know what to do. Should I just talk to him? Is he going to talk to me? I'm confused and I just don't know...

I don't even know if I can talk to him.

Why? Why is this happening?

The situation should usually improve after two weeks since the situation occurred. Fuck! I don't know anymore!

As I turn away to face Jessica, I could see the evident worry on her face. I needed to snap out of it, she has been so supportive and caring I can't worry her further.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the disappointment and sorrow in Joseph's face and eyes. His shoulders slumped and he returned to his now clean desk that had been empty for two weeks.

I felt bad but at the same time, angry that he was upset when he was the one that rejected me completely.

Everyone had been talking about him since the day he was found and Sebastian was suspended, although it would have been a hundred times better if he had just been expelled.

It did not help whatsoever. I still unfortunately have feelings for him, I mean how could I not, he's really the only genuine guy that cares about me and my well being, William too but we're not as close.

For once, at least for a little while, I just wanted to forget, I just wanted to forget about him.

I didn't want to keep thinking about him, to keep crying over him, or to keep being upset about him. I wanted to simply forget about everything that's happened.

It's ridiculous.

It's not like these people actually give a shit about him. It's not like they've known him for a very long time, in fact these people that are talking about him and are "worried" for him, are the very same people that hated him for no absolute reason and bullied him to make themselves feel better about their own life.

Now maybe I can't speak for all of them, maybe there are some who genuinely gives a crap and wants to improve, but the fact remains that the majority of them do not care whatsoever about Joseph, about me, about Sebastian, about anyone but themselves.

Fuck.

I just don't know. I don't know.

**********

It's been a few hours since our last encounter, or at least acknowledgement of each other's presence. Can't say that we really talked or made conversation with each other.

It's been incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.

Every so often, we'd catch each other's eye and then we'd turn away quicker than you can say Jack Robinson.

The tension between us just growing and growing, making it extremely difficult for either of us to concentrate.

Now there was a lingering question that plagued my mind and probably his mind too, should I talk to him? Should I wait for him to approach me? What do I do?

**********

Oh crappp Joseph makes a comeback but things aren't exactly turning out the way he wants it to. Yet another problem to their relationship and friendship, I know, I'm terrible. XP

Anyway, welcome back to another chapter, it's been a dang long freaking time but I hope you will enjoy this chapter and continue to support me and this story. The holidays are here and hopefully I'll be able to post more than one chapter soon! Thanks guys! Please feel free to leave any comments or feedback if you have any, I promise to read and reply! <3 Alyssa

Next update: I'm gonna try to post another chapter next Tuesday, gonna start working on it now

Random stuff: #yupI'mgettingridofthissection #goodbyerandomstuffsectionthatmy13yearoldselfcreated #thanksforallthegoodtimes