Dangerous - Jasper Hale

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Alex walked straight past the biology room and through the hallways, not really sure what her destination was except for away from school. She walked quickly while she felt so frustrated that a few tears fell down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry, she felt weak and silly. She most definitely didn't want Jasper to see what effect even talking about him had on her, but she couldn't stop it. No one understood where she was coming from, not even Emmett.

Alex hardly heard the voice calling for her over her loud thoughts, but eventually, it sunk in. "Alex!"

Said girl turned around slowly and looked straight at Jasper with a blank expression, trying to not expose the tears lingering in her eyes. He was clenching his jaw while looking at her, suddenly losing all control over his mouth and words. Finally, after a few moments of no one speaking, Alex snapped.

"Excuse me, did you want anything? Or can I go on and leave now? I don't think you can possibly say anything to make anything better right now," Alex said, hardly getting to finish before Jasper started talking.

"I've been alive for 162 years now," he begun talking, making Alex furrow her brows. She was aware of that fact already. "In 161 of those years I've existed, but I've never lived really."

Alex sighed, shaking her head. "This is not the time for all of that, Jasper. This is all just too messed up. I don't trust you."

"I know you don't, but I realized something in my absence," Jasper took a step closer to the redheaded girl. "I can't live without you. I haven't lived without you for 161 years, and I didn't live without you these past six months; I was just surviving, barely."

Alex felt her eyes watering, before she looked down and shook her head slightly. "What do you-"

"I'm in love with you Alexandra Taylor, and because of this I'll do whatever you want me to do."

"What does that even mean?" Alex asked Jasper, who didn't look away from her for a second. He hadn't had a real, meaningful conversation with the female since the day before he left, so he couldn't miss a second of this meeting. After all, it was everything to him. Jasper clenched his jaw, before speaking.

"It means exactly what I'm saying. If you want me to disappear and never come back, if you want me to be your friend, if you want me to die; I'll do that. Because there's nothing else that matters to me than you," Jasper spoke clearly, making Alex draw a small breath. She knew Jasper could hear her heart-beat going up, but she didn't care.

Alex felt a lump in her throat forming, but she spoke through it. "I want to trust you so bad Jasper, I really do. I love you, you know that. So much. But that only means that you'd be the end of me if you leave, and you've showed me over and over that it's what you're going to do if things get tough. I might want to come back running to you, but-"

"I'm not asking you to, and I understand that you don't trust me. I don't think anything I say can change it, but I have to explain something," Jasper begun, Alex hesitantly nodded her head for him to continue. "All this time, I thought I was selfish for being with you, for staying, since I knew it was a danger. I've realized that the only selfish thing I actually did was when I thought I was saving you, when I left," Alex almost felt like smiling when she heard his words, it finally got through to him. She didn't though.

"Now, I know I'd never hurt you. You are a part of me, the incident with Bella... it's all because she doesn't matter to me in any way. You're the reason I'm alive, I couldn't take that away for the world."

Alex looked at him with large eyes, staring at him, analyzing his every feature. His hair hung flatter on his head than it had done earlier that year, soft curls along his cheeks. His eyes were as light as could be, his skin could be described in the same way. He looked so kind, but lost, right then and there. Alex felt her heartbeat still raising, only ever calming down when she looked away from him, if only ever so slightly.