Horse Ridin' (Motionless In White)

Chapter 11: Apologies

Written: 9/28/16

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How do you apologize for giving someone a panic attack? There isn't exactly a card you can buy in Hallmark that reads 'Sorry I made you freak the fuck out', meaning Ricky and the others were at a loss.

Of course he'd already told the guys 'I told you so'. Hell, he'd been telling the guys how much he 'told them so' for a week now yet it wasn't making the situation any easier to deal with. They still hadn't talked to the girls and were still legitimately worried they'd hate them now.

Ricky had been a bit better than Ghost who had, immediately after leaving Rosaline and Sirenia's, chewed the hell out of all the guys. All the guys had hung their heads in shame, having realized there was no use arguing with Ghost when he was that angry.

And he had been fucking livid. As in giving them all the silent treatment for 2 days livid. He'd only talked to Ricky in those 2 days who, respectively, hadn't talked to any of the other guys either. He had been, and was still, terrified that the girls would never forgive them and that he'd lost his chance with Rosaline. It was scary to think about how much he already cared for the girl despite knowing her for such a short time and spending little to no time around her without Sirenia accompanying them. Nonetheless, Ricky's feelings were very real and very intense- two things he currently wished they weren't so he could get some sleep at night.

Balz wasn't exactly much better off either. Maybe even worse, given he was one of the ones who had been such a huge dick to Sirenia and caused her panic attack. He felt sick just thinking about it; he never wanted to cause another human being so much pain, especially the one he was developing feelings for.

His feelings for Sirenia were coming hard and fast (thats what she said). He'd seen her as attractive when he met her, of course, but now it was different. Now it was real attraction. He wanted to get to know her, apologize for being so ignorant and take her out on a date. Or fifteen. He wanted to spoil her and he was determined to figure out a way to do just that.

But that involved figuring out how to apologize for that he'd done, and he had no idea how he was going to do that.

Luckily for all of them, Ghost knew just what to do.

But that didn't necessarily mean they were going to listen. Balz had his own ideas.

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Rosaline and Sirenia's lives had gone back to normal the past week- almost.

Rosaline, who was known to dwell on things and move on slowly, had spent nearly all her time alone thinking about Ricky. His apology rang in her head over and over, echoing through her mind like a single voice in an empty room. Her mind wasn't empty, of course as it was overflowing with anxiety and thought, but nowadays it felt like everything about her was empty.

She wondered absently how easy it would be to let herself draw back and fold in on herself like she had while she was in high school. Back then no one had been able to break her shell- not even her sister. She'd been a depressed, anxiety-riddled mess of self-hate and pain that no one had been able to help. It was only when Rosaline was a Senior and Sirenia was out of school that the older sister finally broke through Rosaline's walls and got her to open up.

And she hadn't been depressed since.

But now it felt like it would be all too easy to let herself become depressed again. Not only because of what happened with the boys, but also because of selling Masquerade and Abigail and the realization that Sirenia was really, really shaken by what had happened.

She'd been in a fairly normal mood but relatively... touchy since the incident. As in things that wouldn't have normally bothered her too much were setting her off and sending her into a tizzy. She'd also gotten angry and nearly fired Jared (yes, as in their live-in worker Jared) yesterday for not cleaning Abigail's tack after he'd ridden her.