Horse Ridin' (Motionless In White)

Chapter 25: Memory Lane

Written: 10/18/16

Notes: this is such a fucking crack story, I am so sorry. This is my attempt at bringing it back on track before it goes to hell in a hand basket tomorrow. Oops.

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Sirenia was used to being the responsible one. Not saying Rosaline wasn't too, but she was younger. And even with how mature she was a lot of unnecessary weight was still left on Sirenia's shoulders.

Imagine being a parent at 11. Not literally- hypothetically. Looking after someone younger than you and trying to be a parent to them while also attempting to take care of yourself. Neglecting your own needs to take care of your 'child', losing sleep over them and doing everything you can to make their lives as nice as you can. 

That's what Sirenia was left to do. Even with their parents in the picture, Sirenia had always been more of a parent to Rosaline then their parents ever had.

Neither of them had happy memories with their parents to look back on. People sometimes told them, and by 'people' I mean relatives, about how it was different when they were younger. That her parents had been fantastic parents when they were little but when they'd reached the ages of about 3-5 that had all come to an abrupt stop. They'd stopped taking care of them, the most they did being leave them leftovers for meals or drive them to the bus stop. And that only happened sometimes. Many days, despite horrific weather conditions, the girls had walked the mile or so to the bus stop themselves. Other days they'd missed school. That had gone on until the county showed up at the door and threatened an investigation if the children didn't start showing up at school more.

The girls had been about 6-7 when they became more physically abusive. Neglect turned to abuse and the girls could've sworn their parents took pleasure in hurting them. It had started out simple- pushing or shoving the little girls around; sometimes one of them would end up on the floor because they were pushed so hard. Then it turned into lots more yelling and cornering them, never hesitating to scream in their faces for doing something as minuscule as trying to make themselves dinner or not knowing how to do their homework and asking for help. Before long everything became a reason to yell at the girls.

And then came the taunting.

As the girls got a little bit older they started to show more real fears or phobias. Sirenia's dislike for loud noises lead to being afraid of thunder, her watching 'Arachnophobia' turned into a terrible fear of spiders and her fear of being separated from Rosaline only got worse. Rosaline's fear of drowning/suffocation came from nearly drowning when she was 4, watching 'ET' made her afraid of the dark and above all she too was terrified of being separated from Sirenia.

Their parents prayed on it. Hell, they hunted for that fear and the opportunities it brought with it. During storms they locked Sirenia outside, leaving the poor little girl on the front porch crying and screaming to come inside. They quickly realized they had to lock Rosaline in her room when they did that too, or else she'd just unlock the front door and let her sister in. 

It would have been heartbreaking to watch. It broke the two little girl's hearts to be separated so forcibly when one of them was so terrified, leaving nothing for the other to do then cry and scream for her sister. Rosaline was always crying and screaming for Sirenia, yelling at her parents to lock her outside too so she could comfort her sister. The parents never listened, of course, they only laughed at their daughter's pain like the true monsters they were.

Rosaline was often shoved into the pool in their backyard, even held underwater sometimes when she tried to grab the edge and pull herself out.