Breaking Through These Walls

Prologue

Prologue

2003

I stood in the grass of the cemetery staring at his casket. The priest was saying the final prayers before his body would be sent six feet under the ground, never to be seen again.

I felt like I couldn't breath, like all the oxygen in the world was taken away from me. all I could think was, this isn't real. He cant be dead. I need him in my life. I could only stare at the casket containing the only thing I held onto the most in this world.

My eyes were puffy and red. I had been crying and throwing up after I got the news that my brother died. He was supposed to push me to achieve my Olympic dream. I was supposed to win a gold medal and give him all the credit for how he prepared me. Now, that dream is as dead as the brother and best friend that is laying in a casket in front of me.

As the priest said the final words, I was the first to move to the casket for my final goodbye. I took the biggest rose I could find and placed it on his casket, letting a single tear fall onto the dark oak. I said goodbye to my brother and walked away, not talking to anyone for fear I would break down in front of them. Dan wouldn't want me crying over him, but he left me with no choice.

It finally hit me that my brother was no longer there for me. He isn't here to push me anymore. My best friend, the one I tell everything to, the one who has my back at all times, the one who has made me the person I am today. Gone. Never coming back.

I broke down in the car once it all hit me full force. I couldn't breath. I was choking on my sobs. What was I supposed to do now? I'm already so lost without him. I feel as if a piece of me is gone.

I lie across the seat of the SUV and stare blankly ahead of me, tears streaming down my face, struggling to breath. The emptiness inside me has made its presence, making my chest tighten. I close my heavy eyes and feel sleep take over me.

Before I fall completely asleep, I hear a faint whisper, "You are the sun, the moon, and the stars to me. I love you to the moon and back."

"I love you to the moon and back." I whisper back and fall completely asleep, at peace for the first time since Dan died.