Breaking Through These Walls

Chapter 5

Rian's POV

I woke up the next morning to my phone vibrating. I groan and look at it to see I got a new text message.

From: Kaner
Good morning sunshine! I will be by to get you at 5! Let me know your address so I don't show up at the wrong house ;)

I smile at his morning text. Then my phone buzzes again.

From: Kaner
Oh and I'm taking you out for dinner after too! ;)

I laugh to myself at his messages. I text him my address and flop back down in my bed. My clock reads 9:30. Well now that I'm awake I might as well get up. I walk out into the kitchen to find Lexi making breakfast. "Want some waffles hun?" I send a hurtful look in her direction. "It's like you don't even know me!" She shoots me an unamused look while I just smile in her direction. She puts a plate in front of me at the island. "There. Now eat."
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I mumbled to myself. "Hey! You know how I feel about your sarcasm this early!"
"Says the one who is the morning person." I throw back. All Lexi does is stick her tongue out at me while I flash her my million dollar smile. "So what do you have planned tonight?"
"Um...actually I'm ahh...I'm going to the game tonight."
"Wait the Hawks game?"
"Uh...yeah. Pat asked me to go yesterday." I just play with the waffles in my plate. I know Lexi is staring at me. I can feel it. "So...what are you guys now? You aren't dating are you?"
"No! No no no! No we are just, friends I guess...?" It comes out more of a question then a statement. Honestly, I'm not too sure about what we are either. I finally look up at Lexi to find a confused look on her face. "What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask suspiciously.
"Nothing! I'm just trying to figure this out that's all."
"Trust me. I am too." I answer her looking down at me waffles again. "What happened yesterday?" She always knows what's on my mind. I sigh and look at her before looking back at my waffles. "He wants to hang out with me more. He wants to help me." I say the last part quietly. "That's great Grizz!" Lexi smiles at me. "Yeah. Great." I reply with no emotion. "Why do you push everyone away that wants to be close with you Grizz?" I could hear the hurt in her voice. "You don't even tell me much and I'm the closest person to you. God forbid you bother to reach out to your parents and see ho-"
"Enough! Alright? That's enough! I push everyone away because that's what I do best! I don't know how to let anyone in Lex! The only person that I told everything to is fucking dead!" By now the tears are slipping from my eyes. "I don't trust people! I can't trust people! Everything I hold close in my life ends up being taken from me! Do you have any idea what that's like? This all sounds great and that I may now be able to be fixed, but I can't! No one has ever broken through. I don't open up that easy and you of all people should know that!" I yelled at her. I hate blowing up at her. I start feeling guilty for yelling at her. "Shit Grizz. I'm sorry. I was just excited. I know your still guarded. I just got carried away with it all. I didn't mean it." I could see the sincerity in her eyes. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to blow up like that. I got too carried away." I'm too ashamed to look Lexi in the eyes. "It's ok. I should have known. You had every right to have said what you did. I deserves it."
"You know you're still my best friend. And I love you. Right?" I ask as I look into her face. "Yes! Of course! I would have to be stupid not to!" She answers with a smile across her face. "Ok well I'm going to go for a run. I'll be back later." I say as I hop down from the bar stool. I put my plate in the sink and walk into my room to get changed. Jack comes running into my room with his leash in his mouth. "Want to keep me company buddy?" Jack barks in response. I bend down to pet him and hook his leash to his collar, then we are out the door and takin our normal running route.

****

I got out of the shower at around 4:00. Pat was coming in an hour to get me. I brought my speakers into my bathroom, plugged my phone in, and played my music as I got ready. After my hair was dry, I plugged in my straightener and straightened my long brown hair. Once my hair was straight, I put on my makeup, which consisted of eye liner and mascara. I was officially done with my face. I went into my room to get my clothes. I pulled out my favorite skinny jeans, a long sleeve, black v-neck shirt, and my Patrick Kane t-shirt. I also grabbed my favorite coral scarf to wear later. I walked into the bathroom and texted Pat.