Better Me- Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I lay there on my back with a small smile. Niall makes sure to straddle my upper waist as he sits down on me, careful not to crush me. His eyes glow as he looks at me. "I have an idea."

I cock my head side ways, what in gods name could be his idea. It's usually never good when he has an idea. I sit up a little and Niall bites his lips while I move underneath him. 

"I know you aren't exactly ready to forgive me," He frowns but before he thinks I see he makes it into a quick smile. "So, you know-we both have-you know.. needs." He motions to me and I feel fire ignite within me. I know what he wants. 

"So, let me try to understand what you are saying," I embarrass him. He rolls his eyes looking at me. "you want to be... friends- but we like.. you know?"

He nods his head while his cheeks flush. I don't actually know if I will be able to do this. I am just now starting to think about forgiving him, and it is so intiment whenever we have sex. I just don't know. I guess he see's my hesitating eyes because he takes my hands in his. 

"Maybe this will make you choose," He starts to lean in. I close my eyes when his hands caress my cheek. I tilt my head and Right when I feel his breath on my lips, my door bell rings. I jump, causing us to bump heads. 

"Sorry," I exclaim and he laughs it off. I don't know if I actually wanted to kiss him, but now I know he wants to kiss me.  

We get up and you can almost feel the tension in the air, it's not necessarily bad tension, just some type. I walk towards the door. I'm sure we both look pretty flustered by now. I continue to walk to the door when the door bell goes off again. I roll my eyes and open the door. I am moved to the side by an angry Liam and a pretty calm Zayn. They storm past me and pull Nialls wrist. 

"Where were you all day?" I look over at the clock to see it is now 11:00. Maybe he had something to do with the boys. Zayn continues to tap on his phone before shutting it off and looking around. 

"Nice place, it's cozy," I smile and thank him. Everyone is calm but Liam and Niall. 

"Niall?" I look over to Niall to see him looking at me. Liam shakes Nialls shoulders and he turns to him. Niall takes Liams wrist this time and pulls him over to the corner. Zayn engages in a conversation with me but I can't help but listen to Liam and Niall a little. 

"I just haven't seen her in a while......" That was Nialls voice. 

"......Rehearsals....Album" Liams definitely. 

They walk out a few minutes later and I get up off my spot on the couch with Zayn. Niall walks over to me and takes my hand in his. I almost take it out but keep it. 

"It's raining anyways, so I won't bother you two anymore. Just tell me next time," Liam says. He kisses my cheek and hugs me before Zayn does the same and they leave. I sigh, letting a breath go that I didn't know I was holding. I look over at Niall to see he is staring at me. 

I suck in a breath when he walk closer to me. I let him slip his arm around my waist as he pulls me into him. I feel his lips suck right under my ear, making my knees almost buckle. "Niall," I moan out. His arms lift me off my feet as he picks me up bridal style and carries me into my room. I let him lay me down, not even paying attention to how wrong this really is. We shouldn't be doing this, it just feels so right. 

"Come on Niall," I move my hands into his hair to move his face down my body to my most heated part. He licks his lips before yanking down my leggings and underwear in one second. As soon as His mouth places a light kiss to my bundle of nerves, I know I'm not going to last long. I haven't had any relieve in almost a month. 

"So sweet," He whispers and blows cool air on my flaming heat. My hips buck up involuntarily. I feel him smile against me as he softly sucks on my button. I feel a finger slip into me, making the feeling double. He continues to pump roughly before pulling out when I am about to cum. 

"Niall," I whine. He laughs before taking my shirt off. I watch as he pulls down his pants and Shirt, his naked body leaving me breathless like always. He moves onto the bed, pumps himself a few times, and then enters me. I wrap my legs around his waist, loving the feeling of him in me. 

I feel him start to kiss my neck and chest, all the way up to my lips. As his lips connect to mine, I think about how it used to be. He would kiss me every night before bed, Kiss me every morning. He continues to pound into me while I just moan, thinking about how it would be if we got back together. 

We would be able to do this all of the time, like always. 

"Fuck," He moans and pounds harder. My hands grip the sheets. 

If only he wouldn't have fucked this up, of course all of it ended for a reason. I feel body body start to pulse. I wish he didn't cheat on me. Before I know it tears spring to my eyes. He was doing exactly what we are doing right now, but with another girl. 

"Niall," I try not to moan. He doesn't understand and continues to thrust. "Niall. Niall stop." I finally get the courage to push a little at his chest. "Niall! Stop!!"

He finally hears my yelling and stops before looking up at me. He see's the tears going down my face and immediately pulls out. His face is worried as he asks me "Did I hurt you?"

"Yes, but not in that way," I whisper and the tears pour down my face. I knew it was too soon. All I can think about now is Niall calling that girl beautiful while they have sex, Niall pounding into that girl wanting more. He seems to understand what I mean because his eyes glass over. 

"Kate, look at me," I hear him plead. I shake my head before getting off the bed. I grab my bathrobe out of the bathroom before putting it on. I still have tears pouring down my face, but I try to ignore the feeling of a hole in my heart. I step into my room to see him with sweatpants on now. He still has a boner, probably because neither of us finished. I try to wipe my tears, not wanting to make Niall feel worse. 

"Niall," I whisper and touch his arm. He looks up at me with a set jaw. I see him trying not to let the tears pool over. He is so tired and so sorry. I know he is, I can tell by the look he is giving me. 

"What?" He snaps and I flinch. I know he isn't mad at me, he is mad at himself. He is disappointed Like I am. "You want to remind me again how big of a fuck up I am?"

I am taken aback by his words and take a step away from him. "I wasn't going-"

"We both know you were," Guilt is clear in his eyes, regretting his words but not stopping them. 

"Just listen I-" I try to explain, once again. 

"No, I know I broke your heart. I do, I am so sorry about that to-" He stops and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "But if you don't want me anymore, just tell me. Just please don't use me. All you do is blame everything on me, even your own mistakes."

His words make me angry. He has the nerve to say I am using him. I step forward and go to slap him. My hand makes contact with his cheek and his face snaps to the left side. I see a pink spot appear before I take another step back, scared almost. 

"I am so sorry Niall That I can't even have sex with you," I say with so much venom in my words you proabably wouldn't know it was me. "Without thinking of you having sex with another girl. I'm sorry that I can't have you touching me without thinking about you touching another girl. I am so sorry that I can't even look at you these past few days without thinking about you calling another girl beautiful. And I am so sorry, that I love you and don't know how to keep you with me, but I need time to heal Niall," His eyes are Looking straight into mine. "I need time to make sure I am okay with myself, before I make sure we are okay. I can't regret the decision I will make.

I don't want to have to live without you, I love you so damn much. I don't think you will ever be able to understand how much I really love you." I let out a breath. He just stairs at me. I nod and wipe my tears furiously before stepping in front of him.

"So don't you fucking dare," I snap. "Say that I am using you and blaming everything on you. When I'm the one trying to heal."

I walk out of the room into the bathroom, leaving a stunned Niall. Standing there with a tear going down his face, good.