~ In her mind~
~Daya's POV~
You know a feeling when you just feel numb...that feeling like your gonna puke any second now...yah...that feeling...that feeling that you know will never go away...
That feeling where you question your existence everyday to see if people truly and genuinely care...if your still...there..
That feeling where you just want to scream at the top of your lungs just wanting to be heard...
That feeling...that feeling where you want to just jump of a cliff and into the ocean and to see if you will survive...
That feeling where you fear that the people around you are annoyed of you...and they just want to leave you...
That feeling where you are scared to take the wrong step...and fall...fall into a dark deep pit of dispare...a pit of distress.
That feeling where you want to rip you hair out piece by piece...just to see if you would feel...
That feeling where you want to reach into your skull and pull your Brains out so the voices...the thoughts...the memories... would just shut the hell up...
That feeling where you want to fall...fall...fall...into a deep sleep and never wake up... yeah...just to never wake up...
That desire to just want to stop time...
They say that if you stand in the shower and you count every single of of the drop if water on the wall...you will go insane...
That feeling you feel when you stand in the mirror and just not...like what you see...
That feeling that you know that something bad will happen....so you wait for it to happen so you can carry on with your day.... knowing you will never feel ok...
The only thing to fear is fear...but...what is fear....the fear of falling apart....the fear of the dark....the fear of betrayal...the fear of your past....the fear of being alone....the fear of...public speaking...the fear of being judged...the fear of having your heart broken....the fear...the fear of death...the fear of letting go...the fear of...the silence...fear of... everything
Don't do be afraid they said...but how can't you when you terrified of everything...
Remember in elementary school they asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. Many of us said..a cop...a firefighter...a doctor...a singer...a teacher...vet...an astronaut...you know those things. You thought that life will be lollipops and rainbows...then once you reached a certain age where you looked back to that day...and saw how clueless you were...not knowing what was out there.
You looked at your younger self and saw how full of light you were...then you look at your self now....and see....how that light had grown smaller and smaller...as time passed by...
As the the days go by...as people come and go...as every laugh, tear, scream, word, action becomes part your past...the only thing that kept you going...left without you...left you alone...but then you find another thing that kept you going...then that left you too...and the cycle just keeps going and going until your last breath...yet you don't notice that you might also be the only thing that kept another person going...but then you left them...without even knowing
No matter what...we have to keep going. Even when you want to give up and die....when you feel numb...feel angry...sad...depressed... anxious....hurt....we have to keep going...because...like TØP said
" There's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive..."
Stay alive even through every bump...bruise...fall... stay alive...
Stay alive frens...stay strong...stay brave...stay happy...stay confident...stay proud...stay smart...stay curious...stay...you...
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Please read this....
Hey..um sorry for no updating I have been really busy and I have been going through alot lately...anyways what you guys just read was a mixture between mine and Daya's thoughts...but mostly mine...I just felt like pouring my mind out on this chapter...so sorry if it triggered you in any kind of way please stay strong and stay alive fren and keep fighting...if no has told you today this today then I want to say it..I love you and never give up...even when you fall...your are worth living.. never give up...ok...so...this was just a filler chapter...um see you soon ily❤❤❤
Xoxo~Johana
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Want You Back// A Pete Wentz Fic
FanficDaya Wentz is the daughter of Pete Wentz. When Daya was 5 years old her mom Christine died in a car accident. Pete began to have a drinking problem. He then started to abuse Daya both physically and mentally. 2 years later Patrick took Daya to the h...
