Owning The Game

Impulsive

It's almost been six years we started dating. Sam proposed Clarr three months ago and they are soon to get married. Nate and I are a lot in love but he hasn't proposed me yet. The thought of him not wanting to marry me made me sick.

We were right now shopping for Clarr's wedding gown along with aunt Jesse and Debra (Mrs Williams). Mom was busy with decorations. A lot has changed in all these years. Del and Aqua got married an year ago and are trying their level best to adopt a girl child. Brandon and Ann dating for a few years and then had to take separate ways for their carriers.

But as far as I know, they are still in love. It's been a while we saw Ann since she moved out after high school. We Skype regularly and meet every spring break. But it ain't the same. Now that she has returned to the city to settle here, we are back in touch. She came back last month.

And Brandon is gonna come in a few days for Sam's wedding and he is probably gonna stay here and set up a company. Ann says they are in touch. She totally loves him. And I over heard Sam talking to Clarr about Brandon surprising Anna.

Nate and I went to different universities but we love each other no matter what. We managed to meet twice a month and Skype everyday.

He has been acting very weird lately and I am getting really insecure. He doesn't spend much time with me anymore. Always seems busy. I totally understand that he is struggling with his dad's business. He is very good at this. Since Sam and Nate took over Williams company, it has been the best in the state.

Dad and Henry (Mr Williams) set up another company in a partnership. They were extremely happy to hear that Sam and Clarr got engaged. Remember Jake and the girl from beach? Her name is Jessica. We met again in the university and it dint take long for us to get close. As expected she had a thing for Jake.

They are in their honeymoon right now.yea you heard me right. Jess and Jake got married recently. She got pretty close with all of us. Resulting in me being one of her bridesmaids. Her sister was the maid of honour though.

Jason is totally in love with his mystery girl whom he doesn't want to talk about yet. He said he will introduce soon. And yea, Clarr is kinda pregnant. I don't believe I left that part and ranted about the rest. Saying that I was shocked to hear I am gonna be a godmother soon would be an understatement.

"Wow! You look amazing. My baby has grown up." Aunt Jesse gasped with teary eyes gaining my attention.

Clarr looked gorgeous in her wedding gown. This only reminded me how time flew by. It is like we were out of high school just yesterday. As if it was just a few days ago that we painted Sam's car pink. I took a few steps ahead and hugged my sister with teary eyes. I couldn't get any words out with so much emotion.

"Nessi, are you okay?" She asked very softly.

"Just wondering how the time flys." I said.

"You look gorgeous by the way." I said smiling.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"My babies are growing up!" Jesse squealed pulling us into a hug. Debra joined us in.

"Well hello future daughter in law. You look gorgeous honey." She said kissing Clarr's forehead. I was so happy for her.

Aunt Jesse and Clarr were paying for the stuff we bought while I stayed by the fountain with Debra .

"What's wrong honey?" Debra asked in a motherly tone. Debra and me got closer since when we started dating. She always loved the way we pranked her sons and declared instantly that we are her daughters to be soon.

"Nothing Deb. Just nostalgic." I replied curtly.

"You know I know you more than this. I know Nate is troubling you. But let me tell you, I soon expect you to be Mrs Williams too. I wouldn't accept any other girl in my house." She said making me smile.

"You know we dint study together in the university Deb. What if he found someone better? Someone perfect?" I asked her showing insecurity.

"You are the only one perfect for him honey. A mother knows what is good for her son. " She said but I could sense something wierd in her voice.

"Then what is bothering you Deb?"

"I know that you are perfect for him. I really wish he knows that too." She muttered slowly.

I just wanted to curl up and cry. Everyone is getting married and is happy. And I am not able to spend even some time with the love of my life. He is always too busy and I feel like he doesn't want a future with me.

Maybe I am just overthinking. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him?

We all got back to the Williams home. I lay on the couch as the others were busy discussing the wedding. Clarr was too tired so she sat beside me humming softly. Del and Aqua came into the room after some time. They were all looking at me weirdly. But before I could ask them the door opened and in came Anna running .

"I am sorry, am late. What did I miss?" She asked confusing me while Clarr face palmed.

"We were just waiting for you."Del said.

"Oh.."

"Guys?what's going on?"

"What's wrong with you Ness? Why are you being so dull?" Clarr asked really concerned.

And I told them how I feel. That I really thing nae found someone else. And I feel insecure about myself. I told them how emotionally disturbed I am lately. They listened patiently but dint say anything. They dint even comfort me. It was as if they knew this was gonna happen.

"Guys. Tell me the truth. You knew this dint you? You know the reason he is avoiding me right?" They all looked guilty but dint answer.

"Answer me damn it!" I yelled loosing my patience now.

"Listen. It is not our place to tell you anything Ness. It's better if Nate tells you himself." Clarr said not looking at me in the eye.

How could they? How could she? How could he? He is gonna dump me right? How can the girls be so calm after knowing this. They all seem guilty. But that doesn't matter. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the room with tears threatening to come out. I heard them shout my name but I dint stop.

I felt betrayed. My friends dint tell me what was going on. The love of my life was probably gonna ditch me soon. And I am one hell of an emotional wreck. Why am I being so dramatic lately? I might be a successful interior designer in life but i just feel like a failure for not being perfect enough to gain the same love from the people I love. All I wanted to do now was jump off a cliff and die.

I know I am being impulsive. But you would understand if you were in my position. I cannot live without Nathaniel Williams. A certain bad boy who claimed me as his in high school. A certain bad boy who stole my heart. A certain bad boy who promised to be mine. But all I could see now is how pathetic I am. The pain is too much to bare.

I took my car keys and rushed out of the house ignoring my mom's and Debra's shouts. I dint care what they had to say. I just need to get out of here. And here I go.

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-notme16