Atelophobia|| victuri

Panic

A/n: if you are triggered by panic/anxiety attacks you might want to skip this chapter. I know this isn't perfect but I've just written this off my experience so I'm not saying it's the same with everyone who has panic attacks experiences them like thissssss. Also I have no idea how these competitions work so this is probably all wrong. I'll probably correct this after episode 6 comes out.

Anyway, enjoy!

This.is.so.shit.im.sorry.com

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"Next Up: Yuri Katzuki!" The voice on the announcer rang through the rink.

Yuri froze. He'd been training for this free program for months and months. The sickening feeling grew in his stomach. His hands fumbled together as he stared down at them. Yuri had noticed that he'd developed a habit of doing so when he felt uncomfortable or nervous.

He took a deep breath and turned to his coach.

"You can do this Yuuri." He said simply before signaling that it was time for him to enter the rink.

Bullshit Yuri thought as he entered the rink. The crowd cheered as he skated to the middle of the rink. You know well enough that everyone else is better than me.

All eyes were on him. The crowd had gone silent. Yuri's heart was beating furiously. His palms grew sweaty as he waited for the music to start.

He felt so self conscious standing in the middle, alone. All eyes were on him. He couldn't stand the thought of that. Everyone expected so much of him. He was so afraid to disappoint them, but he knew that everyone else was better than him.

The music stared and Yuri began his routine. Sadness. Anxiousness. Disappointment. Those where the only emotions that Yuri could express, despite his themes being happiness and love. He was giving off an aura in his skating that filled everyone's hearts with sadness. Yuri was great at expressing his emotions through skating, wether he knew it or not.

Thankfully, he landed his first triple toe loop perfectly and carried on. He skated around the rink gracefully as the music flooded his ears.

His second jump, a triple axel, was okay but he came out of it slightly wobbly, Causing him to panic.

Shit shit shit shit Yuri thought to himself. He started to panic more. He just wanted it to be over. The crowd could feel how desperate he was. He conveyed his anxiousness and sadness as he skated through the middle of the rink. Him desperation only filled the crowds desire for more. The second half of his routine went okay, or at lest better than he thought it would have.

Viktor is somewhere watching you right now. He must think you're pathetic. The voice inside Yuris head told him.

"Make it stop." Yuri whispered to himself with tears in his eyes as he approached the end of his routine.

He finished the last quad ever so slightly wobbly and began the combination spin.

What kind of skater are you Yuri

You practiced all for nothing

Your mother will be disappointed