Emptiness

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Hiiiii!

I just want to curl up and sleep but I've written this for you instead and I'm working on the special chapter :) honestly though these past weeks have been awful and i just want to leave. I can't anymore.

If suicide is a sensitive topic for you then you might want to skip this chapter just to be safe.

Pls go appreciate KittenKatter she is amazing and deserves the world she is really pure and beautiful h o l y  s h i t.

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Yuuri hated funerals. He hated everything about them. He even hated the thought of them. He hated them more than he hated himself. He hadn't been to many in his life and he was glad for that, but by god was deciding whether to attend Izo's funeral the hardest thing he'd ever done. It had been nearly a week since his death and Yuuri had isolated himself from everyone and everything. He'd been curled up on his bed, the weight on his chest too much for him to bear. The felt so empty, but how could be not? Someone who'd been a massive part of his life till now had suddenly gone and was never ever coming back.

Yuuri had secluded himself in his room; he hadn't left for days unless it was essential that he did. He'd been lying in his bed, staring at his plain ceiling for so long that he thought it might drive him insane. His throat was raw from crying and he could feel his eyes getting sticky as his tears dried up. His hair was all over the place and he hadn't bothered changing clothes for four days, so he could only imagine how disgusting he looked right now. He didn't know what to do with himself.

Viktor didn't know what to do either. Seeing Yuuri like this was something he'd never experienced before. He too felt empty, and so so guilty because despite the fact that he wanted to help him, he had no idea how to. He couldn't stand this any longer. He didn't want to see Yuuri suffering anymore, Yuuri deserved nothing less than pure happiness. It pained him more than anyone could imagine to see him like this. He hadn't talked to him or properly seen him in four days, and despite knowing that Yuuri was there, it wasn't the same as having him by his side. Every time he'd attempted to even enter Yuuri's room, he'd been pushed away and ignored. There was obvious tension between them

On the morning of Izo's funeral, Viktor woke up knowing that Yuuri would probably be at an all time low. He didn't even want to imagine what he was feeling. He slowly got out of bed and grabbed his phone. He scratched the back of his head before making his way out of his room and up to Yuuri's. He took a deep breath before knocking lightly on the door of his boyfriend's room.

"Leave me alone." A muffled voice shouted. He could hear some movement going on before it was replaced by a perfect silence. Viktor sighed. Yuuri wasn't making it any easier for himself, Viktor just wanted to let him know that he was there to support him. Not knowing what else to try or do, he walked away and pulled out his phone and dialled a familiar blonde's number.

"You better have a damn good reason for phoning me at 2am, idiot!" A groggy voice yelled from the other end after a few rings.

"Yurio, calm down, this is serious." Viktor spoke and the boy immediately shut up.

"...what do you want?" Yurio asked, guessing that something pretty serious must be happening for Viktor to speak to him in such a way.

"It's Yuuri; he- something happened and he's really torn up about it and he hadn't left his room for days and he keeps pushing me away and I-"

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