DO I LIKE YOU?

Intro ☕️

12:00am
I think I now know why I've chosen to stay single during my youthful years. As a teenager, I believe that young love was nothing - something that would not last. For a good amount of time, I was sure love at that stage simply did not exist. Boooyyy was I wrong. Love is everywhere. Love can surely be seen and felt. I just wasnt aware of the varieties of love in our daily lives. I was so self-assured that I understood the very meaning of love. I did not.

"Love, love, love...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!" - Effy Stonem
(SKINS UK) That was pretty much of what I thought of. I believe in paradoxes. This whole situation was an epiphany for me.

My understanding was way bleak. The outermost layer. No way did I comprehend it.

Being a hopeless romantic made things way more complicated for me. I had ideals that were pretty much way out of anyone's league. My standards are/were so unrealistic. No one made the cut. I wanted a tall artsy boy who was also a hopeless romantic and had brown voluminous hair and dreamy blue or hazel eyes. With plumpy lips and had light/slightly tan complexion. Somewhere out there, I suppose that guy exists. The chances of meeting one who possesses all those qualities is about hmmm -5?? So yeah, dream boy is definitely out of the question.

I want YOU to completely put yourself in my position. I am not going to describe my features because I want YOU to be the one who decides that. I can be whoever YOU want me to be. I'm not very particular with names but YOU need to connect with my story, experience the feelings I've felt. Be at one with me. (lmao wow)

I apologize in advance if I fail to describe myself fully because there have been moments where I wasn't so sure myself of how I felt or thought of things. I will try my best to explain everything as much as possible but if there are misconceptions, I assure YOU I will paint a clearer message/picture for ya'll in further chapters.

I can't believe I'm about to put everything out there. For all eyes to see and read. I am literally at my most vulnerable right now. Oh gosh! HAHAHAH what on earth am I thinking ofjdhchfn ¿?!?

My journal entries are now yours too. Also, I will include a word list at the bottom of some chapters to give definitions of some words that are somewhat deeper than of average words. I certainly hope it'll boost our vocabulary. Heh. Enjoy fam.

My language at certain points can sometimes be hard to understand because that's exactly how I've felt at that moment so bear with it. If there are any grammatical errors, I apologize in advance. Most of the time, I'm writing these entries at night so I'm a bit more zoned out than usual ahahah.

Dictionary :
* paradox - a statement that seems self-contradictory but in reality expresses a possible truth.
* epiphany - a moment of sudden and great revelation or realisation