DO I LIKE YOU?

Long Distance

6:41pm
I once had a guy bestfriend whom I'd tell everything to. Our relationship was completely platonic (well at first) ahaha I'll explain later on what happened. This whole guy bestie was an entirely new thing for me at that time. I was thirteen years old when we became friends. By the age of fourteen, we were practically "besties". How cool was that?

We were mainly communicating with each other through chats because I lived 2,355 kilometres away from him. Matter of fact, yes, it is a long distance friendship. I definitely turned a blind eye and ignored the distance between us both. It felt as if hmm ...we were just beside each other when we chatted. I've always felt comfortable telling him anything and everything. That was how much I trusted him.

June 2015, we were able to meet again in person and well we took a picture together. We didn't manage to really spend much time together because well I am way too awkward of a person in public.

He's a really great person. He gave great advices and I don't know why, but it was as if he was so much more knowledgeable than I was. It was really intimidating to be honest, because he was right all the freaking time!

He's the type that is outgoing but is able to keep promises and secrets. Which is what really drew me to our friendship.

A lot of girls did in fact like him because he does have good features. He's nearly six feet tall, has good hair, nice smile and is pretty light-skinned. Compared to most people in our school who has an olive skin-tone, he definitely stood out. Well, you can't really fit in either with that height so yeahhh. Just saying.

We grew closer with one another but we also grew apart. From chats that seemed never-ending, became small talks. And, let's be real here, small talk get you nowhere. It's a major sign that you are becoming distant with one another.

Before closure of the friendship, I felt as if I liked him. I was very sure of it at that time. I guess I kinda told him that I liked him and he asked "are you sure??". Knowing me so well, he became uncertain because he knew how much of an indecisive person I was, so I guess he didn't believe me fully. So, I was really embarrassed. He was cool about it, I guess. But, at that point, I also knew the feeling wasn't mutual. And yeah, I was okay with it.

I don't know if that was the beginning of us being distant with each other. I think I pretty much ran away from him by really making myself isolated from him. Other than that, my mom was against our friendship because she thought he was a bad influence for me. She accidentally saw our chats and well vulgarities were all over there. "My momma don't like you and she likes everyone" literally fits this situation so much. I can't deal!

I bought him a shirt but I ended up not giving it to him. We had arguments and small fights throughout our friendship but we always made up.

The only thing I did not like, was that I was always the one who had to start the conversation. I just wished he could've had the initiative to do so first. There have been times where I'd want to rewind everything back to when we were most friendly with one another but I don't wanna be stuck in that time warp.

He now has a new girl bestfriend and they fell in love with one another. I am happy things are going well between them and I do hope they treat each other well.

After two and a half years, from lack of communication and just basically how distant we became, our friendship ended. I honestly thought that our friendship would last but sadly, most good things come to an end.

Recently, it was his birthday so I greeted him with a pretty long message and he thanked me and said that it was sweet of me to do that. It kind of made me sad though. This rush of realization hit me so hard that we are no longer close anymore.

Despite that, there's also a new chapter in my life now and I am trying my very best to move forward but of course, I will always cherish the somewhat 'magical' moments I've had with him even if they were just via a screen.

To this boy, thank you so much for the memories. I wish you the best in everything that you do.

Dictionary :
* platonic - usually associated w being friends w the opposite gender w/o having any romantic feelings for one another
* time warp - flow of time