supernatural one-shots [requests closed] UNDER EDITING

sam winchester || but then you remember

|| not edited

You heave a long sigh and collapse onto your bed, even though you're still wearing your muddy boots. You lay there, stiff and unmoving, waiting for the exhaustion of the hunt to wear off a bit. Your entire body feels heavy and it aches to think about even opening your eyes. You know that you should at least kick off your boots, before Sam gets on your case.

But then you remember that he's not here to get on your case anymore.

You lie there, sore, and think about how you should take off those boots. You need to move; you need to take them off.

But a small, foolish part of you hopes that maybe, just maybe, if you don't take them off, he'll come in and playfully scold you, sliding the boots off your feet himself, and then climbing onto the bed with you, just like he used to. And then he would take your feet and press circles into them, working away the ache with his thumbs. Then he would move to your shoulders, then your back.

You fall asleep thinking about him, and you can almost feel his fingers rubbing your body before you slip out of consciousness.

-|-

You wake up and yawn, rolling over to look at Sam like you always do. You don't open your eyes immediately because they're so heavy with sleep, so you smile while you try to picture what he looks like. If he's asleep, his jaw is slack and there's drool trailing out of his mouth. His hair is a wild mess from the tossing and turning that he always does in his sleep. If he's awake, then he probably didn't bother to fix his hair anyway. But his hazel gaze will be focused intently on you, and he will be smiling.

The thought of his smile makes you open your eyes and you're a bit surprised when he's not actually there.

But then you remember that of course he's not actually there.

He's dead.

And the realization of that hits you and it's almost like a physical thing that knocks the wind out of you and you can't breathe and you're gasping for air but all that's coming out is sobs and the sobs are too much and they're sucking away at the air you've managed to gather and you can't breathe, you can't breathe, you can't breathe without him.

You just want him to come home.

But then you remember.