If Only...

Was, I Was...

He sat there, facing the screen of his computer. I had settled myself on the chair I had become familiar with, staring out the window.

"It hasn't changed much, has it?" He mumbled.
"Just some irritations." I replied back, we didn't gave each other any attention really.
He kept his eyes on the screen and mine were still looking at the clouds.
"Thought you were getting along great."
"Well said, were."
"I thought the two of you would click." He stopped typing.
"Chris, as a friend to a friend." I didn't look at him. "I don't think Max and I would ever click."
"You two..." He thought it through. "Jaden just tell me."
"He called me his girlfriend and then 5 hours later he took some blonde girl to his room." I blurred it out.
"In the contract it said you couldn't..."
"I didn't read the damn contract, Chris." I groaned. "My mind simply went on autopilot and I thought I would work with Daniel."
"You are screwed then." He shrugged. "You have to keep pushing now."
"No shit." I turned my attention to him. "You called me in, not the other way round."
"Just saying." He smiled. "Hulk, Lewis and Kimi called, I passed them your number."
"You are lucky that they are too old." I got out of my seat. "Same time next week, I guess?"
"Yes and let's make it a habit."
"Daddy wants to know everything in his daughters life, aye?" I joked.
"Always, dearest." He winked as I waved at him.

I closed the door behind me.
I had to stay at Max's cause he was going to Monaco on Thursday morning. And even there I would stay at his. This was once again a hell.

Feet resting on my suitcase, eyes closed. In one hand my phone, playing music through the earbuds. In the other hand my backpack, filled with Red Bull clothing. For the first time I was tempted to fall asleep but a tap on my shoulder ruined the moment. I paused the music and pulled out a bud.

"Yes?" I mumbled.
"You ready?" No, never will if I have to join your dumb ass.
"Yeah." I grabbed my backpack as he bend over to grab my suitcase. "Don't."

He let go and took a step back. I grabbed it and made my way to the carpark.

The ride was silent, dinner was silent.

"I'll take the couch." He looked at me.
"I don't care if you take the couch, bed, garden." I huffed.
"Look, Jaden. I know what I did was stupid."
"Then why and don't even start with the word jealousy." Why did I start this conversation? "You can have every girl you want, did you feel like showing it, to me? You needed sex? Why even try to get me, if you can have every extra mile vaginas?!"

He stared at me.

"I don't need another cheater in my life!" I yelled as tears made their way over my cheeks. "So you do your job and I'll do mine but just shut up!"
"I am so sorry." His lower lip trembled.
"Go be sorry somewhere else, maybe some cheap girl cares." I closed my laptop. "Cause I don't."

I grabbed my coat and walked out the door. As I walked around, it started to rain. My legs close to my chest, forehead resting on my knees as I had walked until I found a bench.

"You lost?" His voice reached my ears.
"Can't you just leave me alone for a few minutes?" My throat felt dry.
"You've been out for an hour, let's get you back."

I got up, hands in my pockets, head down low. Somehow my heart kept clenching, it hurt. I wanted this season to be over quickly. But knowing F1 after a 3 week break in the winter, our season will start again. Not sure if I am capable to continue this fair share of a broken heart.
My head was now slightly up as a deep breath left my lungs, a breath I didn't know I had held. Tears tickling over my cheeks, biting my lip, to keep them sobs as silent as possible. A few escaped a tat bit louder.

-Max.

She was crying, she tried to be silent but I could hear a sob here and there. I had been unfaithful, it was by jealousy and maybe because I was just plain ass horny. Didn't meant for the girl to go back to one of our hotel rooms. I knew I should have pushed her away instead of having her on my leg or cuddling with her on the damn couch.

"Jaden, I shouldn't have done what I did." I saw her tense up. "I wanted to make you jealous. You kept talking to Nico, then you went outside with Lewis." She didn't reply, maybe she was tired of this whole situation. "I thought you left with him, he's good looking, so I pulled the girl on my lap. I was angry, you are my girlfriend and you pick a handsome ass guy to go outside with you." Her head hung low again. "And then you came back to dance with the Hulk."
"You could have asked me to join you." Her voice tried to stay calm. "And was, I was your girlfriend."
Ow, that answer hurt, even though I already knew. "I know I'm in the wrong, I thought you were doing these things on purpose."
We reached my apartment as soon as I had open the door, she rushed inside, taking off her coat before rushing to her suitcase. I had enough time to look at her face, red trails of the tears and puffy red eyes. A cut on her lip, probably from biting on her lip too hard.