If Only...

Awkward Conversation.

I sat next to Max and Hulkenberg, to Max his left was Daniel, who sat next to Rosberg. Lewis sat next to Rosberg and the Hulk. They were all chatting about family as I sat drawing out a piece of my upcoming tattoo.

"What's that?" Max looked at my scribbled napkin.
"A.. new tattoo." I mumbled, why lie?
"You're getting another one?" He stared at me.
"Yes." I nodded.
"Where?" It didn't matter, he sounded a bit annoyed.
"I thought on my chest but if we, I mean, I ever get pregnant it would be ruined." I knew I said we, I just hoped he hadn't noticed. "So my arm."
"Are you, you know..." He didn't finish the sentence.
"No, I just got to keep in mind that one day I want to be." The table fell quiet.
"From me?" Max eyes locked on mine.
"Yeah well, I guess so. " Oh this was uncomfortable as fuck.
"Max, stop." Lewis muttered, seeing my head hung low, lip between my teeth. "She means, she one day wants to carry your child."
"This is awkward." Rosberg replied. "Let's eat."

I stayed silent, this whole deal about pregnancy and kids made me feel so weirded out. Hulk patted my arm as I was slowly filling my mouth, lost in thoughts.

"You alright?"
"It started with talking about a tattoo." I mumbled. "And now you all know about me not minding carrying his kid and what not."
"Well you two are doing the dirty for weeks."
"Doesn't mean that a private topic should be told while being out with friends." Not feeling all that hungry anymore.
"Look, Jady-Baby. It's just us. We can keep secrets." Hulk kissed the top of my head. "As long as the kid will be named after us that is."
"Nico Daniel Lewis?" I scrounged up my face. "No."
"Hulk Verstappen, sounds great." He chuckled causing the rest to look at us. "Eat your food, nothing to see here."
"Thanks Hulk, I needed that." I smiled at him.
"Any time, Jady-Baby."

"So you won't mind having a mini Verstappen?" Max started again.
"Your sister is 2, you mind not starting this conversation right now?" I got out of my clothes.
"I get that their age difference will be really small for an aunt and nephew, niece." He continued, walking around naked.
"Max we are 18." I turned on the shower.
"We've got the money."
"We don't have the place and time." A groan left my lips.
"We can buy a place, we have our parents."
"Stop." I got under the shower. "You don't want to see your kid grow up?"
"I do but-" I cut him off.
"But what? It's a simple yes or no."
"Yes I do."
"So you'll cancel all your races for special occasions?"
"I can't."
"No, you don't want to."

He stayed quiet.

"I turned out fine." He mumbled.
"Your mom wasn't signed to join your dad everywhere he went." I rinsed out my hair. "We just got official, let's not think about kids for the next 5 to 10 years."
"Got it." He huffed.

The weekend just started. How could we go from pretty happy to pretty annoyed with each other in a few days.

Free practice 1 and 2 went good, Max just trained on his starts. They got better. I laid in the McLaren paddock, well I sat, in Jensons car. Max wouldn't come here.

"So why you here, lass."
"Long story or short?" I grabbed the steering wheel.
"Short."
"Max wants kids ASAP." Shorter than this wasn't possible.
"Long story." He scratched his stubble.
"I was drawing a tattoo during dinner, he asked about the placement. I told him I wanted to have it on my chest but wouldn't incase I would get pregnant." He nodded.
"And now.."
"He wants it all but doesn't want to quit this."
"He doesn't have to."
"But I do and that's not fair." I looked at him.
"I know but that's the sacrifice you've got to take with F1." He sighed. "Personally, I wouldn't let you quiet your job here, if you were pregnant because you enjoy your job."
"Guess I'll just got to talk this out with him." I undid the car from the steering wheel before climbing out and placing it back. "Jens?"
"Yes dear?"
"Thanks." I hugged him before leaving the paddock.

"I was looking for you." Max kissed me.
"Had to think somewhere quiet." So I lied, sort of.
"Well, let's get back to the hotel." He kissed me again.

"Shoey! Shoey!" The crowd yelled as Daniel jumped up and down the podium.

It was an amazing race, unfortunately for Lewis his motor blew up. Making Daniel number one, Max number two and third place for Rosberg. Horner drank out of Dans shoe. Followed by Max and Rosberg. I chuckled before turning around, showing the crowd and different teams.

"Well done, lovers." I smiled at the two men.
"You're dating a number two!" Daniel hugged me.
"Better than dating the number four of Spain." I chuckled as Max joined our hug.

Dan pulled away, leaving me in Max his arms.

"You did amazing." I mumbled against his neck.
"Not number one though."
"Let Dan have this one." I kissed his neck. "We'll beat his ass next season anyway."
"I love the way you think." We pulled away from each other.
"You've gotta get ready for interviews." I kissed him quickly. "See you later."

"Hey, today we'll be flying to Amsterdam. My girlfriend is going to get her arm tattooed as soon as we've landed. She knows I don't want her to get more tattoos but it's her body. And she made sure if I continued to bitch about it, she'll punch me in the face." Max talked to the camera, holding it himself as I sat next to him on the plane. "Malaysia was awesome, I'm so happy for myself and Dan. We did grrreaatt!!!  After my girl getting tattooed we'll be going to my apartment and get ready to fly to England on Wednesday. To get into the simulator and from there we'll see."

He turned the camera off, letting me rest my body against his, before we both drifted off.