If Only...

Hulk, Lewis and Jade

It was crowded, I could see all the F1 drivers and their teams, dancing, drinking and over all laughing. Lewis thought he could get me drunk, not just him though. Some other drivers did try to give me drinks, to the annoyance of Max. His eyes were focused on me, didn't matter who talked to him, he kept his eyes on me. Some guy from Force India sat next to me. Tall and blond.

"Seen you at the Red Bulls!" He yelled over the music.
"I work for them!" I yelled back, this night will give me hell tomorrow. "You from Force, right?!"
"Yes, Nico Hulkenberg!"
"Jaden Vermeer, pleasure to meet you, Hulk." Now I recalled, the German that spoke Dutch.
"Dutchie!" He laughed before taking a sip of his beer. "What's your poison?"
"Water." I showed him the glass. "I can't have a hangover tomorrow."

He shook his head, smile across his face.

"Hey Hulk." Seb kissed my cheek. "See you've met my baby sister."
"I knew it, you are the girl from the tabloids." He came to the realisation. "You are hella young then."
"She's 18." Seb started talking German to Nico.

Max still stared at me, dancing with a blonde bimbo. Maybe to get me jealous, his loss. I got off the stool and made my way to the front of the club. If he wanted all my attention he should glue himself to me.

"Jade?!" Lewis grabbed my wrist. "Where you going?"
"Fresh air, it's bloody hot in there." I chuckled as he agreed. "So what's up?"
"Thought you were leaving."
"Am not allowed to leave without informing Ricciardo or Vettel." I smiled at him.
"Known them for long?" He seemed interested.
"Daniel for about three years and Seb for two." I shrugged. "Trying to get to know more but time is as always very limited in F1."
"How did you get into F1?"
"A contract." I joked. "Vlogging Max."
"Every day?"
"Pretty much." I nodded.
"Damn, must be hard." He sounded genuine.
"It's alright, we get along." I smiled at him. "Ready to get back in?"

He nodded as we walked back inside. Eyes searching for Max, apparently if you have a girlfriend, it's alright to have an unknown girl on your lap. My eyes rolled as I got angry instead of jealous. This is were Daniel mistook my anger for jealousy. Clenched fists, flared nostrils and the left side of my lower lip between my teeth. This could only end wrong if I went up there. I made my way to the Hulk.
"Can you dance?" I whispered in his ear. Whatever he could do, I could do better.
"Let me take another shot." He winked and ordered a tequila. He downed it as if it was water. "Let's go, tell me your limits while dancing."

I nodded and grabbed his arm and dragged him to the dancefloor. I rested my head on his chest as he simply rested his arms around my waist as mine rested on his back.
"Perfect." I chuckled.
"Good, cause I don't know why Max is glaring at me."
"Not sure either, he's got a girl on his lap."
"She was on his lap, now they are storming off."
"Then I should go as well, thanks for the dance." I let him go. "I'll talk to you at the next circuit."
"Sure as hell." He laughed as I made my way out.

'To" Dan the Princess.

Hey, going back to the hotel. X fg.'

I saw the two in the distance. Thank little lord Jesus I wasn't dressed up, just a skinny jeans, grey tank top and my All Stars. This wasn't how I imagined my first night out, following my so called boyfriend and a blonde. They went to our hotel. I hope they were related, but why would you touch her ass, if you they were. I took the stairs as soon as I reached the hotel, opened his door and found them, cuddling on the couch. Not sure if he wanted it as much as her, but she was ready to kiss him.

"I.. fuck.." I stuttered, no crying. "Wrong room"
"Jade..." I had slammed the door shut.

I ran to my room, opened the door, to find him on my couch. Fuck this damn door.

"Jade it's..."
"Will you shut up!" I yelled at him. "I don't want to hear it!"

I grabbed my suitcase and started packing. I need to call Seb, I need to crash at his.

"Jaden, it's nothing." He mumbled in the background. "You were getting close to Hulkenberg and Hamilton and I got jealous."
"And you thought about fucking a blonde." I snapped back. "Have fun doing her. Five hours ago you said I was your girlfriend and now jealousy made you grab a random chick back to one of our rooms!"
"I didn't, not for that."
"Oh fuck you, you were all over her. I am trying to make friends!" I stood up and walked over to him. "I don't want you to talk to me ever!"

My heart was clenching, eyes watery and blood boiling. I grabbed my suitcase and walked out the room.

I did end up at Sebs, he didn't ask, so I didn't tell. He left me sulk on my own. I had swapped seats with him, he had swapped seats with Dan, who didn't know what was wrong.

I sat next to Kimi, who didn't talk. I just sat there, staring into nothing.

"You're quiet." Kimi's voice travelled softly into the air.
"Things aren't really working out, the way I planned them." I turned my gaze to him.
"Boy?"
"Yes." I nodded.
"If he's worth it, try again."
"I'm not sure if he is, not after last night."
"If he hurt your feelings, make him work for it, Red Bull girl."
"Kimi, I really don't know if I want anything to do with him."
"Then time will tell." He patted my leg before turning his attention to whatever he was doing before.

Today happened to be Tuesday. I was filming max's work out and slowly found myself, feeling less bothered by Sunday night. Not that I didn't care, trust me it still hurt, but Kimi was right. If he had cared about me, he would do his best to get me back.

"Jaden?" His voice dragged me out of my thoughts. "You ready?"

He was staring at me, those blue eyes. I gave a nod and turned off the camera.

"About Sunday, I'm sorry." What part of never talk to me again, didn't he understands. "I know it was wrong."
"Was she any good?" My voice hard, distant and with so much lack of interest even a deaf person knew to shut up. "Bet you enjoyed it a hell of a lot."
"Jade, please." He sighed.
"For the people who don't give two shits about my feelings it's Jaden." I had enough. "You fucked up."
"How's the happy couple?" Dan winked at me.
"If there was a couple here in the building, they would have been marvelous." I cocked an eyebrow. "But all I see here is a cheating jackass and a friend."

Dan kept quiet, processing I guess.

"Oh." Fell off his lips.
"I didn't do anything."
"Besides touching her ass, let her sit in your lap and cuddling on the couch." I waved it off before making my way to Horner's office.