If Only...

Fucks and Thoughts

"Fuck!" His disappointment was well heard in his scream of frustration. Camera was recording how he got out the car. Had placed it on the table, knowing that it wouldn't record everything above the waist.
"Fuck!"
This time it was more a loud groan than actual scream. I had grabbed him after he took off his helmet. People rushing around us. On each side of his head my hands had placed themselves. His blue eyes staring at my brown ones.
"You did good." My eyes kept their position. "Don't beat yourself up."
"Seventh isn't good." Irritation covered his words.
"It's better than out of points." My hands had made their way to his hair, tucking it between my fingers, my body pressed up against his. Lips longing for his.
"Yes." His tongue flickered over his lips. The word was soft, an answer to a different question.
"Get changed and do your interviews." I bit my lip, too aroused to be honest.

He nodded an with that he ran to get ready as soon as possible. Samuel looked at me as I was making my way back to the camera. His footsteps were following me, slightly nervous on why he would follow me in the first place. Grabbed the camera, stopped recording before placing it in my backpack.

"He's into you, y'know." Sam's voice, somehow still caught me off guard.
"He is?" I questioned him, I already knew, I've been close to having sex with him three times this week.
"He already calls you his girlfriend." At that statement my eyebrows flew up, so lucky that Sam was still talking to my back. "I'm not sure, what you guys really are, friends, enemies, dating or something, but please give him time. If needed of course. "
"I'll try." I finally turned to him, gave him a kind smile.
"Thanks." Sam smiled before turning back to his spot, to clean up.

This was new, even for me. Shaking my head before a sigh reached my ears and a hand grabbed my arm. This sure was new.

"I need it now." A low voice, pushed me in a closet. "Jade, babe."
"Jesus fuck, Max." I punched his arm before trying to get out of it. "We aren't in highschool."
"We could've been." He grabbed my arm. "Please."

He made his way to me, grabbing me, pulling me closer. Resting his hands on my bum, grabbing them, pressing himself against me. Pulling me up, holding a thigh, resting his lips on my neck. Nose against my jaw. A soft moan escaped my lips, loud enough for him to press me against a wall and loud enough to, finally, press his lips on mine. His tongue didn't need to ask for entrance as mine was already searching his. His grip tightened as he pressed harder into me.

"Jaden?! Max?!" We parted as our names were being called out.
"Oh for heaven's sake." Max let go of me. "You aren't in the clear, babe."
"I didn't expect to be." I placed a finger on my now swollen lips. "Shit."
"We are here!" Max had opened the door. "We're coming in a bit."

The ride from the circuit was quiet, neither one of us spoke. I wasn't sure if it was an awkward or comfortable silence. Max hadn't looked at me ever since we walked out the room. I wasn't too sure about why. My eyes darted over his features as he scratched his chin. This was a messy moment of horrifying thoughts. Did he like me or was this the only way for him to try and be nice. Did he want me or did he do this so Chris wouldn't complain.

"Jade..." I heard his voice in the distance of my thoughts. "Jaden! We're here."
"Shit sorry." I blinked a couple of times. "Lost in thoughts, sorry."

I got out of the cab and followed Max, I probably looked like a lost puppy but them thoughts just kept hunting my mind. Am I really someone he wants, maybe I'm just some sort of booty call he doesn't have to call. We arrived at his room, eyes on the floor and not sure if I should skip my way to my room.

"Jaden, walk." Max hands pulled me into his room. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I faked the most confident smile I ever smiled. Which probably looked like a terrifying grin with the saddest looking eyes on planet earth.
"Don't lie." He chuckled. "You've been in and out of thoughts every few minutes."
"It's nothing." I shook my head, threw a smile on and hopped to my room. "Imma go shower."

The shower didn't help, it made it worse. My thoughts got darker and I ended up with a broken heart, without even being sure if he was my boyfriend or not. When I finally had the courage to get out the shower. I ended up hitting my toe against the coffee table.

"Ow! For fucks sake!" I grabbed my toe and hopped around my hotel room, half naked. "Just my fucking luck!"
"Babe?!" Max rushed into the room. "What's wrong?! What happened?!"
"Hit my toe." I pouted.
"You screamed bloody murder!" He yelled, probably the adrenaline.
"It hurts!" I sat on the table as I rubbed my toe.
"Got me all worried." He rubbed his face.
"Sorry, don't have to worry." I felt my heart speeding up.
"I should when you start screaming out of nowhere." He smiled down at me. "You're my girlfriend."

My body felt warm and fuzzy. He said it, now my mind didn't have to worry about what we were. I wasn't a booty call that he didn't have to call. I bit my lip as my muscles relaxed, apart from my heart.

"Jaden, you are out again." He chuckled.
"Sorry, thought you said that I was your girlfriend." I smiled, I needed to hear it again, a confirmation.
"You are, what did you think?"
"Well I wasn't sure." I shrugged, not looking at him. "Maybe I was just a fling."
"Just a fling?"
"Or something else." He knew how to get me uncomfortable as fuck.
"No, you are my girl." He kissed the top of my head. "I'll let you get ready for dinner."

"Daniel!" I rushed to him, his hands were out, ready to catch me.
"Fan girl!" He laughed as I jumped him.
"He said the word." I whispered.
"So you'll be riding his magic-" and there my hand covered his mouth.
"Shuush." I rolled my eyes as he let go of me.
"Dan." Max smiled at his teammate and both their engineers. "Party time, aye?"
"Yep, tomorrow it's back to work time." Daniel chuckled, throwing his arm around Max his shoulder.

I ran up to Seb, who was a few metres before us. I jumped on his back.

"Let's party!" I threw my arms around his neck.
"You drunk?"
"No overly excited, 18 and first time out!" I chuckled, making him join in laughter.
"Red Bull better keeps an eye on you."
"Seb, whose the young lady?" A British accent that I knew as Lewis Hamilton's reached my ears.
"My baby sister, Jaden. Jade this is Lewis." He introduced us. "First time clubbing."
"Really now? He smirked as I nodded.

Fuck what did I get myself into?