If Only...

SD-card and A Locker

Track walking, we started the race weekend. Well track cycling was it. We both sat on a bike, I was filming Max and his engineer, Samuel, if I remember it correctly. It was weird seeing everyone with a helmet on. Apart from Max and myself.
I got bored and got off the bike. I stared at the fence, here I met Ricciardo for the very first time.

"Jaden, you coming?" Max his voice reached my ears.
"I'll be there in a bit!" I replied as I touched the fence.
"What you thinking about?" He had made his way towards me.
"This is were I met Dan for the first time, also on track day." I explained. "If I had know that we'd be best friends, I had met him sooner."
"How many years ago?"
"Two." I finally turned my attention to him.

He was nodding before walking back to our bicycles.

My head wasn't totally there. I stood behind Horner, holding his shoulder filming his screens. First turn was horrible, Max got squashed between a wall and Kimi Räikkönen. The bottom of his car was damaged. I filmed Horner's face before rushing back into the garage.

Eleventh. I filmed him as he came back in the pits. He got out, grabbed my camera and threw it on the ground. Not long after the car of Daniel drove over it. Horner stared at me as I followed Max to the changing room.

"What the fuck!" I grabbed his helmet and rammed it in the locker behind him. "That you fuck up at the start, isn't my fault!"

I pulled him back and rammed him again in the locker.

"You faked your kindness, you fucking up my job, you are a shitty person." I snapped as tears were rolling freely over my cheeks.
"Jaden, dear. Let him go." Horner placed his hand on my arm. "Let go."
"Chris, he is a piece of shit!" I rammed him one more time into the now bend locker before letting his helmet go.
"It's emotions, he was frustrated. Took it out on you." Chris held me close as Daniel past us. "Let's get you the SD card and we'll go out."
"Can I go to Seb?" I whipped my cheeks as he nodded.

With that I ran off, just to collide with Kimi Räikkönen, the iceman. Just my day.

"Sorry, Kimi." I stared at him.
"No problem." No emotions in his voice.
"Have you seen Seb?" I questioned.
"Lockers, Red Bull girl."
"Jaden." I replied and ran off. "Seb?"
"Sis?" He answered as I jumped him from behind. "What happened?"
"I need a cuddle." I told the truth, sorta.
"With red puffy eyes, could have fooled me."
"Jade, I'm sorry." Dan walked up. "I didn't saw it."
"It's not your fault." I pressed my head in Sebs chest.
"I'm so confused." Seb muttered while holding me.
"I drove over her camera." Daniel replied. "Not sure what it was doing there though."
"Max threw it there."
"Geez, that teen is making my life miserable." Seb kissed my head. "Let me and Ricciardo do our interviews and what not. You should do what you had planned."
"No camera."
"Use your phone." Dan moaned and pulled me off Seb. "You be the bitch you can be. Make him suffer and need you."
"You in love with him!?" Seb caught on. "Make him beg!"
"At the moment, I want to murder him."
"Such a fine line between the love and hate." Seb winked. "Come on, Dan time to work."

The two kissed me and left me in the Ferrari garage. I stayed in there for a good 15 minutes before Kimi walked over to me.

"You're still at the wrong team."
"Needed Seb." I stated, not looking at him. "I'll be out of your hair."
"See ya." With that I marched to the Red Bulls and found my destroyed camera on Ricciardos car. I grabbed it and a loud sigh left my lips.
"You were gone long enough." Christian swung an arm over my shoulder. "Monday is your birthday, what do you want as a pressie?"
"A new job." I replied dead serious.
"You have been telling me that every week." We walked out the garage. "That wouldn't be a real present."
"You asked, I answered."
"You ain't getting that." He chuckled.

It was then that Max walked towards us.

"You should go talk."
"I should punch him right in the face." I muttered making him snort.
"As if." He pushed me towards Max. "The two of you talk!"

I just walked past Max, I'll crash at Dan's.

"Jaden Minato Vermeer!" Oh, that's an angry Horner. "I said talk!"

I stopped in my tracks, back still facing them both. My feet didn't move, like they were glued to the ground. Was I really going to listen to Chris and hear Max his fake apology. I did want the job, just to see Dan and Seb improve. I wished things would have been easier. Did I want the job, No!... Yes. Did I need the job... No... Yes.
I slow turned to face them.

"You mind?" Max bit his lip. Yes I do, you egoistic prick.
I shrugged and turned back. Waiting.
"I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He started. "I'm just so disappointed in myself."
"We've talked, now go." I muttered.
"Jaden!" I didn't know he was still there.
"I don't care how you feel, felt or would feel in the future. I don't care for you, your feelings and whatnot." I was lying through my teeth. "I wish you the best in whatever you fail at, as in being nice. Sent my stuff to the office."
"Jade..." Max stared at me. "You are... You... I.. fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."
"That's it?" I grabbed his collar. "Sorry, for everything?! You are so..."

I licked my lips, don't be anymore offensive.

"... Clueless." I sighed and hung my head low. This shit was useless. I let go of his collar. "You really are just a kid."
"I'm older than you."
"You behave like a 12 year old."
"I don't know how to tell you I'm sorry, in two weeks time I already made you cry twice!" He raised his voice. "I don't know how to behave cause I fancy you! I felt disappointed cause it's the first race you've seen me drive and I fucked up. I got frustrated and you were filming me instead of calming me down. But how can you know when I didn't even tell you!"

He fancies me...

"I got mad and then I just grabbed it, threw it. When you grabbed the helmet and rammed me into the locker. I realised that I went to far again."

He fancied me.