Star Wars: Lightforce

Chapter 20

The trip to Takodana was a long one, even at lightspeed. Leia was eager to get back to the task in hand – investigating the disappearances and their apparent Imperial involvement. She'd spent the last few days on trivialities which had only served to waste her time, and her frustration and impatience, coupled with the confinement of the ship, had built up to a point where she was boiling over. She was aware that she had spent the two days of the trip so far, brooding over her emotional turmoil, giving everyone the silent treatment while she worked through it. She was unable to stop it and they would just have to forgive her. Finding endless, and probably unnecessary, maintenance jobs to do on the Falcon both kept her away from everyone and acted as therapy – work was always the best thing to help sort out a troubled mind, she believed.

Angry at herself for being duped into a platitudinous ceremony, she had parked herself in the maintenance crawl space two days previously, and had sat furiously scrubbing at the furred up fins of the Ion Flux Stabiliser cooling fans. They weren't even that furred up but, even after they were clean, she was still manically scrubbing; her clothes filthy and her hands sore, trying to mentally scrub away the stain of the pompous officialdom she had allowed herself to be sucked into.

Han had found her like that at one point and had watched her for a while. She was reminded of a similar spot inside a space-worm 'cave' a year or so ago when he had tried to be gallant and help her when she was struggling. If his impression of her had somehow been altered by what she'd allowed him to see at the ceremony, and he thought her now incapable of doing menial tasks, she would have to set him straight.

She had barked a warning; something about not trying to stop her. He had simply smiled and said he had brought her more electro-scrubbers because hers looked warn out, and left her to it. He understood her now, after all these years; understood the need for her to find a way to forgive herself. Only she could do that. And, when she had finished, that's where he must have found her - asleep, leaning against the bulkhead, electro-scrubbers in hand, and had transferred her to a bunk. She had woken a full twenty-four hours later and, having showered and dressed, felt refreshed and ready for action.

Now, making her way down the corridor, she found Han in the galley preparing food. He turned to look at her, silently for a moment, probably trying to gauge whether her mood was still black but brightened when he saw it wasn't.

"There you are," he said gently. "I was just making us something to eat. We're a few hours out yet but Chewie was threatening to eat me and I thought you could use something too."

"Smells good," she smiled, leaning on the hatchway.

"Well, it's no banquet but you can live on it," he said, reaching behind him for a bottle of spice.

She took a greyish, twisted root from a nearby bowl on the counter and decided to watch him for a while, turning it in her hands absent mindedly. He was talking about something Chewie had been telling him about spice mines when she was asleep and she drifted, watching him work, his sleeves rolled up and his strong hands occasionally animated as he talked. She wondered if he missed his smuggling lifestyle; having complete freedom to do what he liked, go where he liked with just his own rules to follow. Yet, he was still here, after four years, flying her around, protecting her. Did he sometimes wish she would drop everything and go with him? She found his precipitousness exciting, although she was compelled to temper it, but would she consider it? If life were different, perhaps.

He bent forward and peered into her face.

"Are you even listening?" She snapped out of her day-dream.

"Yes... spice mining. I heard you," she fibbed.

"Are you going to eat that?" He pointed at the vegetable she held. Looking at it, then holding it up, she said, enthusiastically,