Star Wars: Lightforce

Chapter 33

Han made his way straight to the makeshift med bay chamber where Leia was recovering. Chewbacca chose to remain on the Falcon, not fancying the trappings of the human beds in the castle.

"Maz has gone back to the cantina. Says she'll return in the morning to greet Commander Blake who is en route," Luke reported when Han joined him on the chamber balcony.

Han was looking exhausted, he noticed. It had been an eventful week all in all and his friend hadn't done much other than rush from one crisis to another. "How are you doing?" he asked him, concerned. Han sighed.

"I'll be OK, kid. Just want this all to be over. I've managed to find all those kids a bed. We'll figure out what to do with them later, I guess." Han's mood was low.

"I'm sure we will, but I'm more concerned about you." Luke brought him back on topic, looking inquisitively into his friend's face.

Han leaned on the stone balustrade of the balcony and looked out over the courtyard and the Falcon parked below. He twisted his mouth crookedly in thought. He had never been one to dwell on what was bothering him, or one to feel comfortable talking to anyone about worries, but Luke was a good friend and, even though he was so much younger, he had a wisdom, like his sister, beyond his years. He had acted like Luke's big brother in the past and now, it seemed natural to tell Luke his concerns in return.

"I let her down," he said frankly. "Back there, in the base."

"Why do you think that?" Luke enquired gently.

"I didn't protect her. Left her to the mercy of those..." he couldn't find a suitable word for the odd coupling of Alderaanian chimeras and imperial mercenaries. "I left her to them on Bespin too." He ran his hand over his face as if to clear the frustration.

"Han, you couldn't do anything else. Leia's been battling this sort of thing long before she met you. She's clever. She will have made what she felt was the best choice."

"She saved my life. Again," Han observed.

"You've saved her life a few times too," Luke reminded him.

"Have I?" Han couldn't see past the last two failures.

"You saved her on Hoth," Luke encouraged. Leia would probably have stayed in the command centre until she was buried alive in the snow had Han not come back and insisted she leave with him. "You stopped her assassination and got her off Chandrila," Luke continued "You protected her on Endor." Han looked sideways at him

"She got shot and nearly ended up a permanent tree dweller," he reminded Luke.

"That last one was her fault," Luke insisted, calmly. "Without you, Yavin would have probably been destroyed like Alderaan with her on it and, if you really press her, she'd have to give you the Death Star rescue too."

Han smiled a little at this. It was a running battle between the two of them as to who saved who in that escapade. Luke smiled too, knowing what Han was thinking. "We've all saved each other at one time or another in the last four years and it probably won't stop any time soon. Just remember it's not always your responsibility. We can't always be there for each other. Besides, if it hadn't been for your love for her, I might not have been able to save her today." Han thought for a moment.

"I still think she's notched up more saves than me." He pinched his lips together.

"Well don't let her know that," Luke teased. "She'll rib you about it for ever." They both laughed and Luke saw Han relax his shoulders. "Get some sleep, Han. We've an early start to Chandrila in the morning." He put a reassuring hand on Han's upper arm.