Inside | Shane Harte

19 | Emotions & desire

"We're home!" I shout as me and Cora walks inside the house again. Our hands is full of bags with clothes, accessories and other unnecessary stuff.

"Hey girls! How did it go?" Isabel asks when she approaches us.

"Really well, actually. You're now looking at the new co-worker at Starbucks" I smile so big that my teeth shows while pointing at myself. "I'm starting off in two weeks"

"Congratulations" Stefan says who popped up behind Isabel. "I see that looking for a job isn't the only thing you two did today" he continues and gestures towards our bags. Me and Cora look at each other and giggle.

"Yeah, well... We couldn't resist okay!" Cora states and sighs. I take my shoes and jacket off before grabbing all the bags to take them upstairs to my room.

"Do you need any help with that?" Stefan asks and I shake my head.

"No thanks, I can handle it"

I almost trip over them a few times but finally I've reached the end of the stairs. The hallway is completely silent so I assume that everybody is downstairs. When I reach the door to my room, I manage to trip over the many bags and fall into a large pile made of clothes, bags, accessories and me.

"Well done" someone behind me laughs and I turn around to face Shane leaning over me.

"Ha ha, really funny" I fake smile and he reaches out his hand to help me up. I snort and stand up without his help, and he grins.

"Congrats to the job"

"How did you... Did you eavesdrop on us?"

"Yeah" he chuckles but his eyes soon look down to the ground in an almost sad way. I want to ask him what's wrong, but at the same time I don't want to risk ruin this non-disparaging atmosphere we have for once.

Okay, I can't resist.

"Hey, what's going on? You look kind of low"

His eyes changes into frustation and anger for a second, but they quickly go back to sad again. He then smile painfully.

"Why are you being so nice to me when I treat you like shit?"

I sigh and walk over to sit down on my bed.

"I'm not nice all the time, and yeah you do treat me like shit" I shrug. "But, when you actually look happy on the outside, I can tell that you're not on the inside. I don't want to kick you when you're already lying down"

A small smile spreads across his lips and he slowly walks over to my bed and sits down next to me.

"So... My mum's name was Mary. She was an amazing woman, she was the one who always believed in me and that I could succeed in music. When I performed in musicals, concerts and such in school, she was always there to cheer on me. But... Last year of high school we found out that she had cancer. She didn't have much time left and my whole life just broke into pieces. But after that, all she ever talked about was that she wanted me to apply for this musical academy in Toronto. How she wanted me to really put an effort in the music. But I refused" he pauses, and I can tell that he's trying to hold back his tears. "I told her that it would only be a constant reminding of her and it would kill me in the end. We fought about it every single day that I visited her at the hospital, and... She looked so weak... Weaker and weaker by the day. The day she passed away, I had just walked out from another one of our usual fights about my future. When I walked back to apologize to her a bunch of doctors ran into her room and I found out that she was gone. After that, I was completely destroyed from both her passing away and me choosing to fight with her on her deathbed. I felt so guilty and selfish, so I applied for the school and got in. I've never truly felt happy since that time and I've gotten in trouble with the police and principal several times. I started drinking a lot directly after mom's death to take away the pain and guilt, and that's when my relationship with my dad went downhill. He doesn't think that becoming a musician is the right choice, and it's hard making money on it. All he cares about is money. But, I knew our relationship was doomed the day he married Isabel, only a year after mom's death. I want nothing more than to move the fuck away from here, but I don't have the money and dad refuses to pay for a dorm room"

When he's finished telling his story, I feel completely numb. Speechless. What do you say to a guy that lost everything he ever cared about and is living in a situation that he can't get out of?

I look down to the floor without saying a thing, when suddenly I feel a hand cup around my chin. It turns my head to face Shane.

"But, don't feel sorry for me" he says with a slight anger in his voice, and I can tell that this is his deepest thoughts and feelings. He's never been this vulnerable before, and it's hard to not feel sorry for him.

"I promise I won't" I assure him, thinking about what to say next. I know what I want to ask, but should I? Should I ask why he chose to tell me? I eventually decide not to since I don't really need to know. It's not important.

His eyes scan my whole face but they stay a little longer on my lips. His thumb moves over and brushes them lightly, while he bites his lip. He then stares right into my eyes and it almost feels like he's staring into my soul. His ordinary scent reaches my nose and his touch sends vibrations across my skin.

I suddenly crash my lips against his, not being able to resist anymore. He immediately responds as he cups my face with both of his hands, and mine searches their way around his neck. My fingers play with his dark brown hair and one of his hands moves down to my waist, sending electricity in my whole body for every inch of movement.

He stands up in front of me, without pulling away from the kiss, and gently lifts me up. I pull lightly in his hair, earning a small moan from him as he places me further up on the bed before placing himself on top.

My hands travel down his stomach and under his shirt. I can feel the sharp abs moving under his hot skin as my fingers slowly travel over each one.

"K-Kayla..." he moans in my ear, his breath sending chills over my entire body. His lips move down to my ear and stop right on the soft spot, where he gently kisses and sucks lightly on the skin. I moan as silent as I can, still thinking about all the people downstairs.

Suddenly, the door to my room flies open and Shane jumps off of my bed faster than I have the time to even think about it. Cora is standing in the doorway with probably the biggest smirk that I've ever seen in my life.