Inside | Shane Harte

40 | The Fall Concert

Today it's friday and time for the biggest event of the year in my school - the Fall Concert. I can't believe that it's already here, that it's been two months since I walked through campus with my mother for the first time as a student.

I'm extremely nervous but I promised myself this morning not to show myself as weak, not in front of Shane at least. He doesn't even deserve the amusement of seeing me scared or nervous anymore.

"Lift your chin up a little more please" the makeup artist says and I do so. She dips the big fluffy brush into the round jar containing powder before dabbing and stroking it across the skin of my face. 

"Hey, are you too busy right now?" Cora says after a sudden appearance in the doorway of the room. I smile and shake my head, earning an annoyed look from the makeup artist before she continues putting loads of makeup on my face.

"Of course not. Long time no see" I say with another smile and she smiles carefully before sitting down on a sofa.

"How are you doing? Considering the... Circumstances?" she asks with such a lightness in her voice, almost like she feels like she's walking on glass when mentioning it to me.

"I'm fine Cora, really. It's okay talking about it" I ensure her, and a sigh of relief escapes her mouth.

"Well, I'm glad that at least you are okay. Shane... He's been out of control"

"In what way?" I ask with a troubled voice. Despite everything that he's done for me I still can't help but feel worried about him. Yes, it's his fault and he dragged all this upon himself but I still don't want him to get into trouble.

"He hasn't been home. At all. We don't know where he lives at the moment, but it's probably with some friends or something. Anyways, he's got several friends from the past that he was drinking, smoking and taking drugs with a while ago. He started hanging out with them when mum died and it took a great deal of people, courage, money and loads of other things to get him out of that life. Now we're scared that he's going to fall back into that again but we don't know what to do about it..."

"Really? I can't believe him..." I mumble, not really knowing what else to say. "I must say, it really surprises me to hear all of this. Considering he was the one who fu... Destroyed everything"

"But it doesn't end there. The few times that I've seen him has been in school and each time... Each time he's been blind drunk"

Well, if I was surprised before, I don't know what to be now. What I do know is that he hasn't been drinking in years, and I can't believe how selfish it is of him to do that now. I should be the one to drink my arse off, not him. This just keeps getting more and more weird by the second.

"Okay, I know this will sound surreal but I really think you should know... Because of my worry about him, I decided to go up to his room and search for anything suspicious. Then I found a paper in the drawer next to his bed. It said 'Let You Know - for Kayla Smith' on the top"

My jaw instantly drops to the ground.

"What? So you think that he wrote that song to me? The song that he asked me to sing with him before we knew each other, the song that he's performing tonight?"

"... Basically, yeah" she says and shrugs and I sigh. My head hurts because of all of the confusion and worry. Well, he's still an ass so I can't really do anything with the information I just got.

"Wow... Okay, thanks for letting me know Cora. You're a really great friend" I smile and she gives me a small smile back.

Eventually the concert begins and I watch the first few performances before Dave walks up to me with a smile that stretches all the way from one eye to the other.

"Hey Kayla, you're up"

"Okay Dave. Thanks" I smile back at him and he leads the way to the side of the stage where the artists enter. Trevor's nowhere to be seen but I just shake it off. I need to focus on myself right now and stop stressing about everything and everyone else.

When we get called up he's still not around but I don't really have a choice but to walk up on the stage. A big applause fills the building but it quickly dies out. I search the crowd for any signs of him or someone who looks like they have something to say about it. After a few moments of awkward silence I lose my nervousness completely, and it changes into annoyance. Well, if Trevor isn't coming I'll sing the whole damn song myself.

I turn towards the band that plays everyone's music and gesture for them to start playing. They look a bit unsure at first but I give them a quick convincing look and they obey. The acoustic guitarist starts playing the melody of 'More than words' and I sing. I sing loud and clear, causing a few people to gasp and applaud already.

It goes really well until it's time to change into 'Heaven', where Trevor's supposed to sing his part before we both meet up. I look around quickly to see if he's arrived, but nope. I roll my eyes but prepare to sing his part, when suddenly...

"How I love the way you move, and the sparkle in your eyes. There's a color deep inside them, like a blue suburban sky"

Shane's loud voice fills the auditorium and everyone turn towards the side of the stage. He continues singing the song while walking towards me with determined steps. I gasp but quickly pretend that it's part of the show.

Finally, our voices meet in the chorus and people start applausing like crazy, even though we're only halfway through the song. I sing my heart out all the way to the end. The room goes silent for a second before everyone stands up and clap their hands, scream and whistle.

The smile on my face is as big as it could get, when I feel Shane approaching.

"You're crying..." he says with a mysterious look on his face, while looking closely at my face. "... Dont"