Inside | Shane Harte

36 | Awkward conversation

I wake up the next morning with the biggest hangover ever. My head is throbbing as the bright morning light shines into the room. I rub my eyes to clear my vision, finding myself in my room alone.

I rise up from bed and turn towards the outfit that I prepared yesterday, as usual. I quickly put it on and walk out of my room, among the hallway and down the stairs. Isabel is in the kitchen doing some dishes as I look around me.

"Good morning" I greet her as I walk closer.

"Good morning dear!" she smiles as she continues doing her work.

"Have you seen Shane?" I ask rather carefully, if he's around and wants to be alone. I'm not planning on letting him be alone for some time now after what Trevor did to him yesterday.

"Sorry, he hasn't left his room since last night" she says with a slightly hurting smile. I nod and walk towards the stairs again.

The door to his room is closed when I reach it so I take a deep breath before knocking lightly. After a few seconds I hear a low mumble from the other side of the door without being able to sort out the words, so I decide to walk in anyway.

When I open the door he's sitting on his bed with his back facing me, so he's looking out the big window. He doesn't say anything when I walk in, without knowing exactly what to say, and sit down behind him in the bed.

"How is it?" I ask him rather quiet and it takes a few seconds before he answers.

"I don't know"

"You can talk to me, Shane" I say with a soft voice. It takes a few moments before he turns around in the bed, faces me, and answers.

"Why are you so nice to me all the time? I don't understand you"

"Because I understand you" I quickly answer him. The room goes silent for a while before a single tear rolls down his cheek. I stand up, walk around the bed and sit down next to him. He embraces me desperately in a tight hug, sobbing.

"I can't believe that he said those things... About my mum. He knows that my choices and what happened to her is the one thing that could break me to my bones"

"He's an idiot, and you know it" I say and caress his jaw with my hand, brushing his skin with my thumb. Thinking about the whole situation about Shane and his mother and all that, I start feeling a bit guilty for how I've treated mine. I actually drunk called her last night... I must be stupid. I decide to call her later to sort things out.

"I just never would've thought that he would say such a thing. He's been my rock for the past year, never judged me... And now he acts like my worst enemy"

I tilt my head against his shoulder.

"You deserve better"

He stays silent for a while before answering.

"... But I don't deserve you"

I shake my head before leaning in to kiss him. He grabs me tightly and kisses me softly. After a while I pull away with a smile.

"Okay, I need to go make a call before work. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, sure" he says with a slight smile on his face. I walk into my room and pull out the phone from my pocket. Mother answers almost immediately.

"Good morning honey" she greets me with a kind of neutral tone in her voice which I for some reason can't read at all.

"Uhm, good morning mum"

"How are you today?" she asks, causing me to roll my eyes since I know what she's referring to.

"Well, not so good, thanks for asking" I answer as I sit down in my bed. "Sorry about yesterday by the way. I was... Drunk"

"Yeah, I figured" she answers sourly and the line is silent for a few painfully awkward seconds.

"So how are things back home? How is dad doing?"

"It's fine. We're fine. Dad comes home next weekend for thanksgiving and he asked me to ask you if you wanted to come home for the weekend then"

"Yeah, sure" I say. "I've gotten a job too"

"Really? That's great" she says probably trying to sound happy when I can hear that she's still mad at me for everything that I've done.

"Yeah"

"Well, I'll call you some time next week with further details about thanksgiving then. Take care"

"Yup, bye" I say before hanging up. Most. Awkward. Conversation. Ever.