Inside | Shane Harte

37 | You're a pussy and you know it

When we've hung up I notice that my first day at work is starting up soon. Quickly I grab my hair brush when somebody knocks on my door, interrupting my task.

"Come in!" I say without taking my eyes off of the mirror while continuing to brush through my hair. The door opens and Shane walks inside. I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, you actually knocked for once"

He rolls his eyes and throws himself on my bed.

"Where are you going?" he asks while laying down flat on his stomach on the bed.

"It's my first day at work" I smile while puffing up and fixing my hair, preparing it for being put up in a ponytail.

"Okay, where do you work then?"

"At Starbucks in town" I say, surprised that he didn't even know where I work. I thought that Cora would tell him a long time ago but apparently she didn't.

"Do you want to do something after work?"

"Yeah, sure. What do you have in mind?" I ask while finally putting my hair in a high ponytail.

"I'll pick you up when you're finished, we need to talk" he says while standing up from the bed again.

"Well okay, but-"

I don't even have the time to finish my sentence before he's gone out through the door. I sigh but continue making myself ready.

The day at Starbucks flies by and before I know it I only have a few minutes left on my shift. I got a lot of compliments for my work by my boss and some customers. They really liked that I'm so service-minded and open.

I'm cleaning some tables when I notice that my shift is over, so I walk into one of the bathrooms to freshen up before Shane arrives. I wash my hands and face before the now familiar bell rings, indicating that someone just entered the shop.

I walk out to meet him when I notice that he looks a bit nervous. He gives me a small smile when I approach him.

"You're right on time, good job" I smile and hug him.

"Thanks" he says and I can sense that he's not quite himself.

"What is it?" I ask him, looking into his eyes. He breaks the eye contact on and off before answering.

"Just get into my car, it's parked right outside" he says before holding up the door for me. I narrow my eyes before walking past him to his car. We jump in and he turns the engine on.

The carride is awfully quiet and I start getting really worried. I try to think about something else to avoid going crazy, unfortunately without any luck. The high buildings get smaller and smaller and before I know it we reach a cliff with a view of the entire town.

"Wow" I exclaim as Shane stops the car and steps out. I do the same and we just stand there, admiring the incredible view for a minute. A bench is placed by the edge of the cliff and he sits down on it, me doing the same. We sit there for another quiet minute before he finally breaks the silence.

"This was my get away-place when I was in my worst state"

I take a deep breath before answering him.

"I'm so incredibly sorry for what happened to you and your family. I don't give half a shit if that means that I feel sorry for you. I am sorry for your loss, and I want you to know that"

He opens his mouth, probably to say something rude, but closes it again and looks away.

"I don't deserve you" he says while looking out in the air.

"Stop saying that all the time, you do deserve me" I say with a serious tone in my voice to make it clear to him that I couldn't be more serious. He finally turns to me and caresses my face in his hands.

"I'm not good for you" he says with complete darkness in his eyes. I look away and he releases my face from his grip. I start getting an idea what he's about to do, causing my eyes to tear up.

"Yes you are" I say, trying to swallow the tears that are about to show themselves to the world. He slowly shakes his head.

"No..."

"Shane, don't you dare-" I stand up when he interrupts me.

"Stop it, Kayla. I'm doing this for you"

"No Shane, you're doing this for you. You're scared to fall in love since you don't want to get hurt. You are a fucking pussy and you know it!" I spit and he stands up as well.

"What are you not getting? I don't... Like you. I never did. It was all just a game" he says, trying to sound confident and calm. I can see his hands shaking and I close my eyes slowly before opening them again.

"I can tell that you care about me Shane, you can't deny it"

"Me and Trevor made a bet about who would first get you in bed" he says with wide eyes and heavy breathing. My heart instantly falls to the ground. "That's why he's been so clingy on you lately. He can't handle losing a bet"

Tears roll down my cheek and I clench my fists, looking at the ground.

"And why are you telling me this now?" I ask with a cracky voice.

"... Because I thought that you deserved to know. I'm not that bad of a person, you know" he says with a cold voice.

"Yeah. You're not that bad" I say and walk off, leaving him up there on the hill. I don't know where I'm headed or where I am exactly, but all I know is that I need to get as far away from him as I can.

"... You just broke my heart, but it's nothing..." I whisper to myself while starting running towards the street down by the woods.