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Review 3 - Beautiful Cries

Title: Beautiful Cries
Author: Lyssagirl7686
Genre: Fantasy
Summary: The tale of Persephone is well known throughout Greek Mythology, however; the real tale hidden beneath the myth of a Goddess stolen away from her mother is that of Alena Cali, the Cursed Siren.

Assigned with the duty to protect and guard Persephone from all harm, Alena had no idea that the consequences to her actions would not only effect her, but her entire race.

Forever cursed to lure sailors to their deaths with their beautiful voices, the sirens turn against Alena, banishing her to live out her ill-fated life on Cape Pelorum in servitude to the gods for the unpayable debt she earned in losing Demeter's daughter.

Now powerless to the curse that causes her to drag innocent men down to their watery graves, Alena sees no escape from her doomed existence. However, when the opportunity to save Persephone arises, she only has one option left: gain the help of a lone sailor to right her wrongs, or lose her friend to the clutches of the Underworld.
Status: Ongoing
Mature: No

First impression 10/10 - Your cover is beautiful and your summary made me want to read more. It gave a very good overview of what the book entails! 

Plot 9/10 - I love what I've read so far! It's such a nice twist on the classic tale of Persephone. I'm my opinion, your chapters are a little long, but it's fine. I just prefer shorter chapters because I don't always have time to read long ones. I absolutely love how descriptive everything is though. It helps me visualize everything, which I love because I am notorious for being bad at visualizing.

Dialogue 9/10 - There are a few errors in the dialogue, but that's to be expected, dialogue can be confusing. Reviewing the rules of dialogue (just google them) can help improve this! (This is what I do)

For example,

"I don't think they'd want to do that Captain." Alena's sultry voice answered in reply.

Should be,

"I don't think they'd want to do that Captain," Alena's sultry voice answered in reply.

If it ends in a period and is followed by "Alena said" or something along those lines, you replace the period with a comma.

Grammar 9.5/10 - I only noticed a few grammatical errors throughout what I read and they were very minor.

Characters 10/10 - I love all of your characters. They are well portrayed and given great emotion. You can really tell as a reader how they feel.

Overall 9.5/10 - Your book is very well written and I love everything about it (except the chapter length). Just tweaking little things could make Beautiful Cries even better! This is definitely one of the books I'll be reading over my winter break.

I highly recommend this book to anyone, especially lovers of Greek mythology!