Reviews: Free and Simple - Closed for Catch Up!

Review 11 - Crimson

Title: Crimson
Author: allycatdaone15
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Status: Ongoing
Mature: Yes - It has mentions of abuse and other touchy themes.
Summary:

The Victorian Era, known for notoriety and secrecy of nobles, held the story of an unlikely pair. Amon Emory, a butler whose loyalty overshadowed his mysterious aura, worked under one such infamous noble. Allyson Kaye, a young heiress with beauty that contradicted with her sharp tongue, ruled over him and whoever else she owned with an iron fist. When an animosity within her pushes her towards secrets yet to be revealed, she must evade her many rivals and solve the mysteries that desecrates the Kaye family's name before the damage is irreversible.

First impression 8.5/10 -

Cover: Your cover is very crisp and clean, but there are a few things I don't like. For one, you have the different colored letter. I understand why you did, but it just looks weird to me. For two, the staggered letters aren't even at all. If you are going to stagger the letters, make sure they are even.

Summary: I really like the summary you have. It's detailed but not too detailed. You leave a lot of things up to curiosity and I like that.

Plot 7/10 - Your prologue was so incredibly boring in my opinion. I ended up skimming through the entire thing. It was kind of a big information dump and I didn't really like it.

I really like your writing style. The first chapter is very intense and you give a great description of the setting. The only thing I would change is 'concert, black walls' to 'black, concrete walls' it just flows better and follows the English rule of adjectives. The idea you have going on is very interesting and different

Dialogue 10/10 - I didn't see any dialogue errors (thank you) and the emotion that comes through is amazing.

Grammar 10/10 - Again, I didn't see any grammatical errors and if there were any, they were so minuscule I didn't notice.

Characters 10/10 - Your characters have very in depth emotions, which I love. I can relate with their terror in the first chapter.

Overall 9.1/10 - I really like what you have, but I think you need to edit your prologue. You could make it either shorter or simplify it a bit. Everything else is fine :)