Reviews: Free and Simple - Closed for Catch Up!

Review 2 - The Blood of Wolves

Title: The Blood of Wolves
Author: Anonymous_115
Genre: Werewolf
Summary: Lily is the 17-year-old daughter of the Alpha of the pack. Tragedy has struck Lily's pack and the strongest pack there is. Both packs join forces to find the murderer before more wolves are murdered. Along with trying to find the killer, Lily must also learn how to deal with a mate bond she isn't too find of and a legend that might be more truth than myth.
Status: Ongoing
Mature: Yes

First impression 7/10 - Your story summary interested me, but your cover is kind of boring in my opinion. The font is small and hard to read and the color of the words and the picture clash. Making your cover clearer would definitely improve people's first impression.

Plot 7/10 - I really liked the prologue and it drew me in, but the first two chapters were bland and pushed me away from the book. There wasn't much happening and it bored me.

Dialogue 6/10 - There were quite a few dialogue errors, like forgetting to put punctuation or putting the wrong type of punctuation.

For example,

"Yes mum." Says Jackson while bowing his head.

Should be,

"Yes mum," Jackson says while bowing his head.

That's the proper way to punctuate dialogue when it ends in a period followed by "said person". If you google "dialogue rules", there are many good sites that explain all the rules. If you do this, your book would be much more enjoyable and easy to read.

The conversations between Leah and Lily were quite confusing as well. I'm not sure how you would be able to fix it, but I didn't like it that much.

Grammar 7/10 - This is mainly affected by the dialogue, but it's an easy fix! Maybe proofread your work before publishing it or have someone else edit it for you. I'd be happy to do that if you'd like!

Another thing was your paragraphing. Your paragraphs dragged on and on, and I found myself skimming them. Dividing them up into shorter paragraphs makes them easy to read and not as boring.

Characters 8/10 - I like all of the brothers and their relationship as a family. Lily also seems cool, but they all kind of lack originality.

Overall 7/10 - Your prologue was attention grabbing, but you lost it in the following chapter. Making them more interesting would keep readers wanting more. You have a great start, but some improvements to make.

If you're into werewolf stories, go check it out!