Reviews: Free and Simple - Closed for Catch Up!

Review 15 - Lavish

Title: Lavish
Author: hushedspirits
Genre: Teen Fiction
Status: Ongoing
Mature: No
Summary:

Spring Break is the time to let loose and wild but when you find rich kids covered in blood and not booze, you have a real problem coated in Chanel and Balmain.
Beverly Hills is the most strategic game board you could ever play, each person vying for that one spot on the throne - now it's time for you to meet the players.

First impression 9.5/10 -

Cover: Your cover is perfect. The background fits the title, its eye catching, and the title is easy to read.

Summary: Your summary is perfect. It makes people curious and gives readers a good base on what to expect in the book. The only thing I didn't like is the weird paragraphing you have going on. It looks sorta messy and unorganized.

Plot 9.5/10 - I like your forward. It makes your book seem ten times more professional. I don't like the character intro chapter though, but I'll look over it since I love your forward so much. I think starting off with your prologue taking place during a funeral really sets the tone for the story. Your plot itself is very interesting and original.

Dialogue 9/10 - I have one major suggestion for your dialogue. When you follow dialogue with 'he/she said, agreed, questioned, etc., you use a comma instead of a period.

For example:

"Until he is done mourning, Claudia." Roman snapped, running in the direction that Tate left in afterwards.

Would be:

"Until he is done mourning, Claudia," Roman snapped, running in the direction that Tate left in afterwards.

It's small, but essential to correct writing. Other than that, your dialogue is amazing.

Grammar 9.5/10 - Your grammar is perfect. I haven't seen anything wrong spelling/grammar wise, but I can't give you a 10/10 because of the dialogue.

Characters 10/10 - I love your characters. You do an amazing job of getting their personalities across. They are very well organized and I like the description you give all of them.

Overall 9.5/10 - This is an amazing book and I will definitely be reading more. The only things you should take a look at are the dialogue and your paragraphs in your summary. I hope this was helpful!