Title: The Mail Girl
Author: Chocolate_Lover_xxx
Genre: Teen Fiction
Status: Ongoing
Mature: No
Summary:
Alesia Carter probably has one of the most easiest jobs in the world, but she realizes that her job isn't as easy as it seems, not only she has to deal with lot of celebrity stuff, but on top of that she is living with the most awful guy in the universe.
Will she be able to survive this job? Or will she call it quits? Read to find out!
First impression 3/10 -
Cover: The cover is ugly in my opinion. The font for 'mail' is incredibly weird and I have no idea why you did that. The colors clash with the colors of the picture and the picture doesn't have anything to do with your book. It has a girl on it and that's it. It's boring.
Summary: Your summary is so many grammatical errors, it's basically a huge run on sentence. Fix it. Make multiple sentences. 'Most easiest' is not a thing. It's just easiest. I also can't stand that you have "Read to find out!" No. Just no.
Plot 4/10 - I could barely get through the first chapter. I hate hate hate the copyright thing you have at the beginning. Your first chapter was boring and I wanted to jump off a cliff when you did '*sneeze*'. I don't think I can read any more of it.
Dialogue 7/10 - There's barely been any dialogue in what I've read, but it's okay far. The only thing is that if you put something like "he said" after dialogue that ended in a period, you put a comma.
Grammar 5/10 - You are missing so many commas. You've also put semi colons where commas should go.
This is what you have:
I slowly got up; wincing at my aching back, who knew falling from a chair hurt so bad?
You should have:
I slowly got up, wincing at my aching back. Who knew falling from a chair hurt so bad?
At least that's what I would do. One more thing, ellipses are always three dots. Never more, never less.
Characters 4/10 - I only read about 1.5 chapters, but I hate your main character. There's just something about her that throws me off.
Overall 4.6/10 - Your book really needs some improvements. Some of this could just be personal opinions, but this is my honest opinion. Fix your grammar, that's the main thing. Your cover also desperately needs to be fixed. I hope this review helped! I'm so sorry if this was too harsh :(
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