Joshua Bam Bam Brown: Collection of Short Alaskan Bush People Fan Fics

Walking Away. Part 3

When Bam hurried out of the cabin, you didn't hesitate to follow him.

"Bam! Wait!" You shouted at his quickly retreating back.

When Bam didn't slow down, you picked up your pace and when he picked up his pace, you decided you needed to do something more to get him to stop. Glancing down and around, you spied a small chunk of soft wood on the ground. It was neatly cut into almost a perfect square and was obviously cut and leftover from some larger piece of wood. But it was just the size you needed.

Scooping up the wood, you hefted it in your hand once, then twice. It was just the right weight to get Bam's attention but not knock him out completely. The small lump of wood sailed quietly through the air directly toward the back of Bam's head. You slowed down and watched, pleased with yourself as your small missile flew straight and true.

At the last second, however, Bam seemed to sense something behind him and started to turn. Your eyes widened at the thought of the chunk of wood smashing into the side of his face. That wasn't your plan at all. But just when you thought you might have to change your name and leave the country to avoid Bam's wrath, his right hand flew up and the wood slammed hard against his palm as he slapped it out of the air.

You stood rooted to the spot, your eyes still wide as Bam turned and saw you standing watching him. The anger in his eyes was unmistakable. You were in serious trouble.  Spinning quickly on your heel, you started to run as fast as you could back toward the cabin.

"Stop right there!" Bam yelled but you didn't stop.

What was wrong with you? Why were you so determined to make Bam mad? Just because he looked so much like your ex-boyfriend Terry didn't mean you had to try to turn him into Terry. You had finally gotten sick and tired of Terry's crap and here you were with a guy who was actually 'nice'. But in the last fifteen minutes you had thrown a shoe at him and tried to hit him with a chunk of wood. You needed professional help.

Your feet flew as you raced back to the cabin, trying to get there and bar the door before Bam reached you. As you sprinted across the soggy ground, it occurred to you that you had gone from walking away from a man who no longer cared anything about you to running away from a man who might have feelings for you. As the craziness of that though hit you full in the face, you stopped and turned and waited as Bam stalked angrily up to you.

When he was close enough to you for you to see the frown lines on this forehead and the tight clenching of his jaw, you dropped your head and looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

"Don't start getting all shy and embarrassed now." Bam said sarcastically through gritted teeth.

You snapped your eyes back up to his, angry at his tone. Your mouth opened to tell him exactly how you felt but in that instant, the look on his face changed and all the harsh words flew out of your mind.

"I'm sorry." Bam's words were gentle and a complete contrast to the anger that had been on his face moments before. "I shouldn't have touched you while you were sleeping." His face was so close to yours but his hands were held stiffly at his side.

"Why...?" You started to ask.

"You were restless and crying in your sleep and I wanted to make you feel better. That's all." His features softened even more as he spoke.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Your question surprised him.

"I didn't want to wake you. I thought you needed to get some more sleep. You were so tired."

You knew perfectly well that if Bam had woken you up, you would have seen Terry's face and you would have reached for him. And you would have made love to him. It wasn't fair to Bam. As angry as you were with Terry, it amazed you that your heart and your body still yearned for him. You could see Bam was attracted to you and he wouldn't have refused your touch. But that would have been wrong on so many levels.

If only Bam didn't look so much like Terry. It was only his looks, though. Bam was very different from Terry and you could see that more clearly every moment you spent with him. But looking into Bam's deep blue eyes that were a mirror of Terry's you knew you couldn't get involved with him until you had completely pushed Terry out of your heart.

Your hand slowly rose to Bam's face and you stroked a finger along his jaw, his full beard soft beneath your touch. He was kinder and stronger than Terry. That was one huge difference between them that was impossible to miss.

Seeing the look of desire in your eyes and feeling your warm finger on his cheek made Bam brave. He stepped closer and let his lips brush gently against yours. His arm stretched around your back and he pulled you to him. You wanted him so much but you were still too confused. As your hips pressed against his and you felt his rising hardness against you, the last thing wanted to do was pull away.

But you did.

"I can't do this." You whispered and Bam's breath was a soft sigh against your lips and you almost changed your mind.

"I understand." His head dropped to your shoulder and pushed into your neck and you knew he was struggling with his feelings.

"I know you understand and I wish I could stop seeing Terry when I look in your eyes." You confessed.

Bam's lips were still on your neck and you shifted nervously as you felt a stirring low in your belly.

"Please..." You whispered and slid your neck away and looked into Bam's eyes.

"Yeah." He practically groaned. "I'm cool. I'm good." His distressed half-smile made you laugh.

"Well if this is you being cool, I'd like to see what you're like when you're hot." You joked.

Bam took a step back and released you and the smoldering fire in his eyes nearly took your breath away.

"You'll find out soon enough." He said and turned and walked away.