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XXIX

I landed back in my room, a thunderous clap of my body landing on the ground echoing over my cries. There were so many emotions flying through me I didn't know what to feel.
I was angry and I was sad but a part of me... the part of me that lived in a small part of my heart, in the side only Mother Nature could have, was happy. My sister was pregnant. Why could I be happy for her?
Was I jealous? Could I possibly be jealous of my sisters demented relationship which, by the way, fits most of the criteria for an abusive relationship, which I dislike.
No I couldn't be. Paul and I were both living creatures. I was probably the most fertile creature on the planet. Paul was a werewolf, and I'm pretty sure he could have children. We shared a love that was made by every god, we were perfect for each other in every way: soulmates.
But Bella was different. She's been different her whole life and I can see how it's affecting her now, I have no clue how to think like she does. To the Mother Nature side, I was supposed to be happy at the new life being brought into this world, no matter the circumstances. But the human side of me... no matter how small that was... Edward was a vampire. His heart beat no more and neither should his reproductive organs.
I felt all control radiate from my body, and I fell to my knees. Things began to fall from the walls, picture frames and lights shattering.
I had reached my melting point and there was no going back from there. The door was thrown open and I could see Hermione running in.
She took me into a hug as the windows shattered behind us. We both let out a scream; her's of fear of confusion, mine of agony.
She covered my head with hers as she enveloped her body over mine.
There was whipping currents of wind slamming doors, mixing the hot air of the outside into the room. It was a disastrous sight, I won't lie. The relics of the wizarding world I've collected have been cracked, destroyed or thrown across the room. I'm not sure what I could do, I'd be able to fix them later, I think.
The door was kicked in, even against the current, and Ron and Paul rushed in. Harry came in a few seconds later with some kind of healing potion, and Ron quickly grabbed Hermione from next to me.
Paul kneeled in front of my quickly as he took my chin into his hand. A single tear cascades down my cheek as I made eye contact with my imprint.
Breathing in, I felt the air hit the cut on my lip and I winced.
"Mere, babe," Paul called, barely holding my attention. "What's wrong?"
I set my hand on Paul's cheek. I wasn't able to speak right now, so I sent a vision to him. It was something I'd only ever done once, but it helps when I can't force myself to speak.
Paul's body froze. He had seen exactly what I wanted him to see, and without another word, he kissed my forehead before running from the house.
I didn't care if I screwed up, and I didn't care if he told Sam. I would regret it later, Hell I'd hate myself, but I was too broken right now. Every thing I've ever felt in my whole life was being multiplied by the millions and being amplified through me with no buffer, no filter. Just pure emotion.
It was just the four of us then, like old times. Except, this time it wasn't some evil dictator that was fighting us, it was what was inside me.
People see Mother Nature as this beautiful creature, who controls the balance of life and death, creation and destruction. But in reality, it's barely controllable. Very rarely can I help the masses. I'm selfish and there's nothing I can do to change it.
I had more injuries than Hermione, but when I turned to see how she was, I felt nothing but shame.
Hermione, Harry and Ron noticed me staring at them. They attempted to speak to me, but something in my bubbled over. I had stood, while they were attempting to find the words, and grabbed my bag. This was the forever-bag that I stored my things in, my witching things, of course.
I hopped over the ledge of the stairs, landing in the entrance of the kitchen with a bang, and grabbed my wand and wallet from the counter, now being chased by Harry.
"Meredith, don't go." He spoke and my hand settled on the door handle.
"I need time, Harry. You'll understand when you find out."

Hey!!
It's been a while since I updated and I'm super sorry. I'm so busy. But now I'm taking a vacation and I'll update everything as soon as possible.
The second thing, is I was wondering if I started a Mortal Instruments series? I've read all the books and seen the movie, along with some of the new series. Let me know in the comments if you'd like a new series soon.
Also, check out Regency! It's my other story, and I really love it. I've put a lot of work into it and I feel like it's something different but also something special. I'm not very far into it but I'm updating it soon and I think you'll love it!
-Clary!