The Text ;; t.j

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CHAPTER FIFTY TWO

[very triggering]

{you're not alone}

.::skip this chapter if needed::.

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Tyler's POV

-4 months later-

There was no point in trying to be happy anymore. There was no point to anything anymore. I completely gave up trying.

For these past 4 months, I thought I was getting better, I thought I was doing so great, and I thought I was beginning to find myself.

But, It turns out I was just getting horribly worse, and I was not finding myself. I was just losing myself even more.

It was 1:01 am, and I was sitting alone at the abandoned park, lying on the ground staring at the atramentous and bleak sky.

I've shut down almost completely. I've lost the actuation to do anything at all.   I've even lost the desire to talk.

I lost the motivation to eat, get ready in the mornings, walk, sleep, and even texting people back with the simplest message.

The only things that I could do was write music and cry.

Josh, Jaycee, Jenna, and Payton where the only people who haven't ran away from me.

I pushed away my family.

I pushed away my friends.

And even some of the clique.

I don't mean to hurt anyone, but that's all I could do. I made people mad or sad.

I put my hands on my cheeks, and felt wetness on my cheeks.

I felt droplets of water stream down from my eyelids, on to my cold fingers.

I didn't realize I was crying until just then.

I didn't care though. I always cried. I only made myself look weak when I cried, and I made myself look like a crybaby because I was so sensitive.

I felt myself slowly, but shakily get myself off of the bedraggled, muddy, and grassy ground.

I dusted myself off, and I slowly began to walk along the rough ground, toward an old creaky bridge.

I looked down from the bridge, and from the corner of my eye, I took in an image of a waterfall and it looked quite familiar.

It looked like the one I jumped from in a dream from awhile ago.

It felt as if weights were dropped down on my chest as I faced the front of my body at the waterfall.

I was completely lost in my thoughts, just wondering if it was actually worth jumping off.

I got more into thought, and felt myself break down, and felt sad moans escape my lips.

I wanted to be permanently deleted from the world, because I didn't have any purpose and the thought of dying seemed to be peaceful.

As I got deeper into thought, I felt my phone buzz and I jumped lightly.

I seen I've recived messages from Josh.

spooky josh😊: are you at your moms?

spooky josh😊: i hope you're okay