The Text ;; t.j

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CHAPTER FIFTY SIX

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tw//

Tyler's POV
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The sky was a mix of purple, red, orange, yellow, blue, and a hint of pink. And that's all I wanted, a pink sky.

My life just kept going around a gigantic circle of shame. It would go to being okay, to being stressed, to being sad, to feeling nothing at all but depression.

The circle was endless. I was tired and scared. I just wanted to be free again. A fresh new start.

I sighed at the multi-colored sky and closed my eyes. I wanted to find peace again.

The feeling if peace made me feel free, and it made me forget that I was ever sad, and it made me forget all of my agony.

"Hey hey hey." Josh walked outside trying to lighten the mood.

I looked at Josh from the corner of my eye and felt a small smile tug at my lips.

"Hi josh." I said softly.

Josh walked his way toward me and lied down next to me on the grass.

"You've been so blank lately." Josh clouded up.

I nodded, not saying a word and closing my eyes again.

There was a pause of silence.

"I hope I'm not pushing you away." I said as calmly as possible.

"Even if you try to push me away, I'll always be here. Always." Josh smiled sweetly at me.

I smiled back at Josh and went back to looking at the sky.

"Thanks," I said to the guy I call my best friend.

I was glad to call josh my best friend.

"You've been outside a lot lately. That's good." Josh said softly.

"Yeah." I said quietly.

I'm just waiting for the sky to turn pink.

It will soon, no worries.

"Ty, you don't know how broken down I'd be if you were gone." Josh sighed.

There was a pause of silence.

"I-i would be-be broken. You're my best friend ever. I need you." Josh voice went quiter.

"I'm here." I looked over at Josh who was begging to cry.

"It wouldn't be the same with you gone. I love you, ty." He muttered.

I sighed, I ignoring the tears beginning to stream down my cheeks.

"Don't cry." Josh frowned and looked over at me.

"I always do, it's natural." I looked at him with a fake smile.

"It makes me sad when you cry." Josh fake pouted.

I felt a smile grow on my lips as josh was acting like a two year old.

"Thanks josh. I needed that." I said softly as I wiped the tears that kept rolling down my cheeks.

"Anytime. I'm always here to help." Josh smiled.

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-3 hours later-

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Hours later, I was still lying down on the grass so cold and feeling lifeless.

The sky was no longer colorful. It was now grey, looking nothing but sad.

I stared at the sky and pursed my lips together in a straight line. I felt so sick. So depressed.

I shook my head and covered my face with my hands.

"Stupid."

"Ugly."

"Idiot."

"Suicidal."

"Depressed."

"Horrible."

I mumbled these words, and yelled them out loud in my brain. The fact that all of that was so true made me feel even more lifeless then I already was. It made me so dull, and so upset.

I just wanted to go, but I didn't want to right now. I lost motivation to get up. but there's always tomorrow, right?

I began to pick at the grass as I thought about what was happening.

Suicide?

Yes.

I got up from the damp grass and walked my way inside the house, planning stradegy for tomorrow night.

"Hey ty-" Josh started.

"Uh- hi josh." I said nervously, running to my room.

"You alright?" He put his hands on my shoulders worridley.

"Ye-yeah. Just heading for bed." I fake smiled and lied.

"No you're not." Josh mumbled without me hearing.

I got out of his grip, and I ran up to my room, closing and locking my door and feeling my heart drop.

Was it really worth it? To go and leave everyone behind? To go without people knowing?

I loved everyone.

But it just wasn't the same anymore.

The world wasn't the same anymore.

I wasn't the same anymore.

I slid down the door, and felt the salty tears stream down my cheeks. I put my hands on my face, making sobbing sounds.

I looked up at the ceiling, and picked my scars on my arms.

It was time to stop pretending, and be real.

It was time.

I was serious this time.
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Hey everyine. I'm sorry I'm so late with this chapter. I've been so caught up in school and I promise I'll update sooner.

I thought we'd be close to at least 70 but it might be 60.

I'm sorry. I have writers block sooo bad. :(

s t a y a l i v e |-/

Love you all. Xx

~jay