4Ever & a Day : The Next Generation of R5

The Day My World Fell Apart

Montague

I pulled up to Lilliana's house on my motorcycle, just because I knew it drove her dad nuts. He still wouldn't let me take her out on it. He didn't know she had snuck out several times to go riding with me and he would flip out if he knew what else we had done on the motorcycle. He still thought she was his sweet little innocent daughter. She had him snowed and I just played along.

I got off the motorcycle and walked up to the house. I knocked and Lilliana's mom came to the door. Mrs. Stevens liked me a lot more than her husband. He thought I wasn't good enough for his little girl. She was the preacher's daughter after all and I wasn't exactly a churchgoer. She never pushed me to go either. It was one of the things I loved about her.

"Oh hello, Montague," Mrs. Stevens said as she stepped aside to let me in. "Lilliana's in her room with Tamara."

As I ascended the stairs to Lilliana's room I thought about how much I disliked that Tamara girl. Something about her just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't understand why Lilliana was even friends with her. She was the definition of dumb blonde. As I turned the corner to Lilliana's room I heard noises that sounded a lot like kissing. When I got to the doorway I froze. Lilliana was on her bed kissing the Tamara girl on the lips! Tamara's hand had snaked up Lilliana's skirt and she did nothing to stop it. I didn't say a word. I just turned around and marched down the stairs and out the front door.

I didn't know where I was going I just drove. I ended up at Brady's house. He was outside playing catch with his little brother. When I drove up they both turned to look at me pausing their game. Brady could tell I was upset about something and sent Henry inside. We sat down on the front steps and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I fished it out and saw it was a text from Lilliana.

Is something wrong? My mom said you left in a hurry, she wrote.

Yeah I saw you. I sent back.

"Doing what?" Brady asked.

"Tamara Cooper," I answered. "And no before you ask I didn't find it hot like you would have."

Oh, was all she sent back.

I waited for her to explain. To just say something besides oh, what the fuck! We had made a promise never to kiss anyone else and I had kept that promise. I had never even thought about kissing someone else and now I wondered if Tamara was the first girl she had kissed. Had she kissed other guys? Since we made that promise we had even chosen not to participate in several games of spin the bottle at parties. Just to keep the promise.

I was so mad I threw my phone across the driveway and it smacked into the tree before it landed in the grass below it. I looked over at Brady who was watching me curiously. He had never seen me lose control like this before. Hell no one had. I had never had a reason to lose control before. I knew everything about everyone before they did. People were very easy for me to read but I hadn't seen this coming in a million years.

"What is this I'm feeling because I can't explain it," I asked Brady. "I've never felt it before."

"Dude it's called jealousy," Brady said.

"Should I be this jealous?" I asked.

He hesitated. This was the guy who liked to watch his girlfriend with other girls and I was asking him about jealousy. I wondered if he ever got jealous when he saw Tatianna with other girls? Did he wonder if she was sleeping with them behind his back?

"I have been there. It happens to me a lot," he confessed. "But if you don't trust her then you have nothing."

It was good advice and I knew he was right. This did give me some trust issues. I loved Lilliana with all my heart but I couldn't do this. If she wanted to be with girls I wasn't going to share her. I wasn't going to share with anyone for that matter. I had never been good at sharing anything and I wasn't going to start now.

A few minutes later Brady's mom called him in for dinner and I declined her offer to stay. Once they were in the house I went over to the tree and collected my phone. The screen was shattered and I had a text from my mom asking where I was and one from Lilliana saying please talk to me. My phone was so shattered I couldn't answer either of them. My mom was going to blow up my phone if I didn't text her back but there was nothing I could do. I got on my motorcycle and headed home defeated. I had lost the most important thing in my life today because she cheated on me.

Moving on was going to be the hardest thing in the world for me. This girl had been my first everything. How was I supposed to move on?