Supernatural in Real Life 5

Chapter 5

God leaves Zeus in the Elysian Fields as he brings everyone else back to the bunker. Lucifer walks away immediately, going back to Bailey's room. He kneels down next to he bed, watching her sadly. She's still sleeping peacefully, and Lucifer finds himself hoping she'll wake up from it like a nap. He knows it won't happen, though. He's never that lucky.
"Hello."
Lucifer doesn't turn around to look at who's here. He knows it's his father by the voice. He's in no rush to talk to the man. God walks up to him and kneels next to his son, looking at the archangel with sorrow clouding his eyes.
"Are you okay?" God asks him.
Lucifer doesn't respond, knowing it's what the man is looking for. He doesn't want to reward the man who sent him to Hell and forgot about him.
"You're still mad at me," he observes.
Lucifer doesn't bother telling him that he's correct. It's obvious.
"You know whatever this 'Rob' did, it was not me, correct?"
Lucifer nods slightly.
"Then that is not what you are upset about."
Lucifer ignores him, knowing he can figure it out himself. His eyes stay on the girl in front of him, silently willing her to wake up.
"I can wake her up," God offers. "But just... Talk to me first, okay?"
Lucifer sighs, knowing he doesn't have a choice. Without looking at his father he says, "Fine."
"What are you mad at me for?" God asks.
"You sent me to Hell," Lucifer says quietly.
"I know, and I'm sor-"
"No, you're not," Lucifer interrupts.
"I'm sorry I left you there that long," God finishes. "I never wanted you to suffer there for so long. I just-"
"Forgot," Lucifer substitutes. "You forgot about me."
God frowns, knowing it sounds bad but it's true. "I'm sorry."
"I don't care if you're sorry," Lucifer says. "I gave up on asking for that a long time ago. Just wake Bailey up."
God hesitates, wanting to pursue his apology, but knowing the archangel doesn't want to hear it. Finally, he nods and places a hand on her forehead. After a moment, he pulls it away and leaves without a word.
Lucifer watches with nervous anticipation. Slowly, her eyes open, and Lucifer feels a pang of relief. She's back.

Bailey's POV
I open my eyes to see Lucifer kneeling in front of me. I give him a small smile, but I'm too tired to really do anything. Well, that was a nice nap. I sit up slowly, ignoring the pounding in my head. It takes all my strength not to lie back down. My muscles don't want to support me right now. I feel weak, like I can barely move.
"What did I miss?" I ask.
"Zeus took Macie to Greek Heaven and now everyone is back here and the real God just woke you up from a coma."
"Is Macie okay?" I ask quickly.
"I don't know," he replies. "She's been crying in Jesse's arms for the last few minutes, and she hasn't really said anything."
"I want to go see her," I announce. I roll out of bed and onto my feet, but my legs are too weak to hold me and I fall. Lucifer catches me swiftly and stands me up with him, my weight mostly on him. We walk to the living room together, where we find the rest of the group huddled in a circle/ameba shape. Macie is on the couch with Jesse in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt. She's cuddled up to him, tears streaming down her face. Jesse just holds her close, comforting her.
My eyes land on someone I thought I'd never have to see again. As if sensing me watching him, he looks up, meeting my gaze with a sympathetic look. I don't know if I'm afraid to see him again or angry, but I'm definitely not feeling something positive.
"That's not Zeus, if that's what you're thinking," Lucifer tells me.
"Then who...?"
"That's the actual Christian-Judaeo God."
"Wait, seriously?" I say in surprise. "What's he doing here?"
"He brought Macie back and woke you up."
"So he's a good guy?"
Lucifer hesitates before answering, "He's no Zeus, at least."
God frowns slightly, and I can tell he's listening to our conversation. He says something to the group of people he's with, and they all respond with something I can't hear. He glances at Jesse and Macie, but seems to decide against speaking to them. Instead, he comes up to Lucifer and I.
"I wish you all the best with your hunting," he tells us. "I must leave now, but if you need me, Lucifer, do not hesitate to ask for me. If you had reminded me you were still in Hell-"
"Okay," Lucifer interrupts. "Bye."
God frowns at the brush off. "Well, my offer still stands. Goodbye, Lucifer. Bailey." He tips his head in acknowledgment of my presence before disappearing from the room.
"You seemed very not-snappy," I observe.
Lucifer shrugs. "Well, he did save both you and Macie. The least I could do is not yell at him."
I nod in agreement. "Yeah, makes sense."
"Bailey," Gabriel calls to me, walking over to us.
"Yeah?" I reply.
He glances at Lucifer very quickly before saying, "Can we talk?"
"Um... Sure?"
"Gabriel..." Lucifer says in a low tone.
"Chill, big guy," Gabriel interrupts. "Just gonna tell her what she's missed. You go talk to Macie, 'kay?"
Lucifer looks over at his daughter, still in tears on the couch. "I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now."
"Oh, true. Then go talk to Sam and Dean because otherwise I think Dean might stab you when your back is turned."
Lucifer hesitates. "I don't think anything I can say to him will make him not want to stab me."
"Then go apologize to Rowena for not killing her."
Lucifer sighs. "Fine." He takes a step away, then makes sure I'm stable on my own before walking away.
"Come on," Gabriel says quietly, gesturing for me to follow him. I do, though I'm sort of hesitant about it. I have a feeling I don't want to know what he wants to tell me. Finally, we're standing out of view of everyone, and likely out of earshot of a lot of people.
"If you're just telling me what I've missed, what's up with the big production?" I ask.
"It's..." He looks around, likely to make sure no ones listening. "Well, I might as well tell you the less important thing first. Zeus turned Jared, Jensen, Osric, Crowley, and Ruth into their characters from Supernatural, and we've yet to figure out how to turn them back into them."
"That's the less important thing?" I repeat. "What's more important than that?"
"Well..." Gabriel hesitates as if mentally debating whether to tell me this or not. "So after Zeus left, there was... Well, Macie was gone and you were in a coma, and Dean was being difficult and refused to help, so Lucifer took you to your room and I went in a few minutes later, and he... I guess he just snapped. I found him crying next to your bed, which in itself is not normal. And... He had his angel blade. I think he was going to..." Gabriel trails off, not able to finish his sentence.
"What?" I say in shock. "No, he wouldn't. Right?"
"I don't know. I mean, he was... This is going to sound really insensitive, but it really seemed like he just broke. I asked for the angel blade, and he just turned it to face him, and I honestly think he was thinking about... But he ended up giving it to me eventually."
"You asked for it?" I repeat. "You should have just taken it!"
"I couldn't," he replies. "I didn't know what he was planning to do, but if I didn't give him time to think it through, he easily could have finished the job before I got it from him."
"And you're sure he was going to..."
"No, I'm not, and that's the problem," Gabriel says. "Maybe it was just jabbing him and he took it out of his pocket to stop it from stabbing him and he was just being his annoying dramatic self giving it to me. But I don't know if it was a real problem and if it's something to worry about."
"Did you ask him?"
"Of course not!" he replies as if I asked if he punched a porcupine. "He's Lucifer. You don't ask Lucifer about anything. He tells you when he's ready."
"But when he's ready could be too late."
"And that's why I'm telling you instead of dealing with it myself. I can't talk to him about it because he doesn't tell me anything. I don't know if you want to ask about it, because he might talk to you but he might also snap at you or lie to you, so that probably wouldn't do anything. But I know you two spend a lot of time together, so just watch him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
I nod. "Of course. Thanks for telling me. Now I'm gonna be really paranoid, but thanks anyway. Do you think Lucifer's listening to us right now?" I ask, the thought just now occurring to me.
"I hope not. That's why I told him to go talk to someone else. He can't pay attention to both of us at once."
"Oh, true," I agree. "Well, I'll keep an eye on him. Did you tell Michael, too? Because he and Lucifer seem to be getting close."
Gabriel nods. "Already done."
"Okay, good. Alright, let's go back before anyone gets suspicious."
We walk back into the living room, where everything is as we left it. Well, everything but Lucifer and Dean, who seem to be getting in a fight. I'm about to go break it up, but Gabriel holds me back.
"Don't. This is going to be interesting," he says with a smirk. I guess he's probably right, so I stay back and listen.
"You do realize that I'm not the same me that you know, right?" Lucifer asks Dean.
"I don't care. You're still the devil, and don't expect me to forget it."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Lucifer replies. "Cuz now I've got an excuse to annoy the crap out of you. And trust me, I'm very good at that. Especially because I happen to know every single mistake you've ever made."
Dean glares at him, knowing he's right. "Seriously, people like you here? You're no different than the Lucifer I know."
"I choose to think that we're very different," Lucifer replies. "For example, I would be a much better King of Hell. And I would have killed you a billion times over during the original apocalypse, because I knew you'd come back and I could kill you again."
"Okay, you are the most bipolar person I have ever met," Dean announces. "You went from crying baby to empty shell to schoolyard bully so fast, I think I'm getting whiplash."
"I was not a crying baby, thank you very much."
"Did you see yourself when you realized your chick was unconscious?"
"Well, technically, no, I couldn't see myself," Lucifer replies. "But I was not a crying baby. I was actually pretty composed. More than you were every time Sam died, anyway."
"Oh, don't you bring Sam into this," Dean growls.
Lucifer just laughs. "Not so smug now, huh?"
"You little-"
"You two should start a tv show or something!" Gabriel calls over to them. "'My Roommate's the Devil,' or something like that."
"That implies that Dean's the main character," Lucifer observes. "But I think we can all agree that I would be the star of the show."
"Yeah, right," Mark says sarcastically. "You can't even shoot your own scenes in Supernatural."
"Because you won't let me!" Lucifer whines. "But we've all seen Sam and Dean's acting. Yeah, I'm winning this one."
"Makes sense," Gabriel agrees. "Cuz you love lying so much."
Though it was supposed to be a jab at him, Lucifer accepts the insult gracefully.
"I wouldn't be the devil if I wasn't a liar."
"Ah, touché," Gabriel agrees.
"But it's obviously not just a devil quality, cuz look at little Winchester over here."
Dean rolls his eyes. "You're never going to stop, are you?"
Lucifer shrugs. "There ain't no rest for the wicked."
A small grin appears on Dean's face as he adds, "Money don't grow on trees."
Together, they sing, "I've got bills to pay, I've got mouths to feed. There ain't nothing in this world for free. I can't slow down, I can't hold back, though you know I wish I could. Cuz there ain't no rest for the wicked 'til you close your eyes for good."
Dean nods in approval. "Well, you've got good taste in music, I'll give you that."
"Yeah, what happened to Garth Brooks?" Gabriel asks Lucifer.
"I have literally never mentioned Garth Brooks in my life."
"The fiddle thingy," Gabriel clarifies.
"That was Johnny Cash," Lucifer tells him. "Not Garth Brooks."
"Whatever. I thought you hated rock."
"I hate some rock," Lucifer replies. "Like AC/DC with the yelling and stuff. Not... Cage the Elephant?" He looks to Dean for confirmation, which he receives from a slight nod.
"I lost all respect for you when you said you like country," Dean announces.
"The fact that you ever had respect for me amazes me."
"I didn't," Dean protests. "And now I have negative respect for you."
"Which means you didn't before?" Lucifer asks with a smirk.
"No, I-Okay, any respect you earned for knowing 'Ain't no rest for the wicked' is now gone."
"Then it's a good thing I'm not after your respect."
"Okay but seriously, how is country better than AC/DC?" Dean demands.
"Because AC/DC isn't music!" Lucifer replies. "It's just screaming into a microphone! Maybe if, say, Led Zeppelin covered their songs, I could listen to them, but from what I've heard, their best song is 'Big Balls,' and that's saying something."
"How 'bout 'Back in Black'?" Dean suggests.
"I'd rather put a bullet in my skull," Lucifer replies. "Preferably a melted angel blade to put me out of my misery."
"What? But that's the best!" Dean says.
"No way. AC/DC as a whole just sucks. Bon Jovi, though."
"I've got to admit, Bon Jovi is awesome," Dean agrees.
"Favorite song?"
"'Wanted, Dean or Alive,'" Dean replies without hesitation.
"'You Give Love a Bad Name' is better," Lucifer replies.
"Do your ears even work?" Dean asks. "No way is that better."
Lucifer scoffs. "Yeah, right."
"Seriously, do I have to play this right now?"
"Nope, cuz you won't be able to hear it over the better song," Lucifer replies, then snaps his fingers. Suddenly, a very familiar song begins to play.
"An angel's smile is what you sell. You promised me Heaven, then put me through Hell," Bon Jovi's voice begins singing.
"I still think 'Wanted, Dead or Alive' is better," Dean says stubbornly.
"Then you're wrong," Lucifer replies. 
"Seriously, where is this coming from so I can show you something better?" Dean asks.
"It's coming from everywhere so good luck with that," Lucifer replies smugly. "Wait for iiiiiitttttt... Shot through the heart! And you're too blame!" Lucifer begins singing loudly. He's actually pretty good. "You give love a bad name."
Dean joins in for the second half of the chorus, "I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name."
Lucifer grins. "I knew you'd give in. You may be the stubbornest son of a bitch I've ever seen, but no one can resist this song."
"I still think 'Wanted, Dead or Alive' is better. Come on, put it on."
"Fine, but only to prove a point," Lucifer replies. He snaps his fingers, and the chorus of Dean's favorite Bon Jovi song begins playing. They both sing along for the full chorus, leaving Dean looking smug.
Suddenly, "Heat of the Moment" begins playing, causing Sam to jump a bit. Gabriel just laughs, leaving casually against the wall.
"Heat of the moment!" Gabriel, Lucifer, and Dean all sing. "Telling me what my heart meant! Heat of the moment showed in her eyes! And then you find yourself in eighty-"
Suddenly, Led Zeppelin begins singing, "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a staircase to Heaven."
The three of them look around the room, not sure who changed the song.
"Who...?" Gabriel asks.
"Me," Michael replies.
"Well, it's offensive to those of us who are not allowed back in Heaven," Lucifer says jokingly. Suddenly, the chorus of "Highway to Hell" begins playing.
"I thought you hated AC/DC," Dean reminds Lucifer.
"I do, but it's for a good cause," Lucifer replies.
"This is offensive because I have been banned from this highway," Gabriel announces.
"You weren't banned, you were just smart enough not to take it," Lucifer replies.
"You know what I would like to take?" Gabriel asks. He snaps his fingers, and a cherry pie appears in his hand to match the song.
"She's my cherry pie!" Gabriel yells before attempting to eat his pie without silverware.
"Cool sip of water, what a sweet surprise," Dean and Lucifer continue. "Taste so good, make a grown man cry. Sweet cherry pie."
The chorus plays again, a pie appearing on a newly created table in front of Dean. He looks around, confused, until his eyes land on a self satisfied Lucifer.
"It seemed fitting, with your love if pie and all," he says.
"You didn't poison it, did you?" Dean asks, only partially joking.
"No, I'm not that petty," Lucifer replies. "If I was going to kill you, I'd do it a fun way."
"And what's the fun way?" Dean asks, not phased by his (possibly) joking threat.
"You better hope you never find out," Lucifer replies mysteriously.

A/N Every time I become obsessed with a new rock song, I will reference it in here. Just so ya know.