Supernatural in Real Life 5

Chapter 44

A/N I know, it's been almost a week, but the chapter is almost three times longer than it usually is (and three times more boring) so that makes up to it.
Lucifer stands in an empty field somewhere in Wyoming, where he knows no one will bother him. He looks up to the sky, a new feeling of determination inside him.
"Dad, I need you." He says it as if talking to someone in front of him, knowing his voice doesn't have to carry far; his message will.
Sure enough, God appears in the field with him, a look of interest on his face. "What do you need?"
"I need your help. I want to find Rob — Zeus — and I want him dead, and I can't do it alone."
God sighs. "I'm sorry, Lucifer. I can't help you with that."
"What? Why not?" Lucifer demands. "He's just a Greek god. You could kill him with the snap of your fingers, and there's no way in hell he could hide from you."
"Most of that was true, but he's not 'just a Greek god.' He is the most powerful Greek god, and the most well known. He may not be their favorite, but if I were to help you kill him, that would out a target on both our backs."
Lucifer kicks the ground out of frustration. "Of course," he mutters under his breath. "Fine. Then I'll do it without you."
"You can't kill Zeus by yourself," God reminds him.
"I never said I'd do it by myself, I just said I'd do it without you."
"Well, you're not going to get help from anyone else. No one else is that stupid."
Lucifer rolls his eyes at this, sinking into his hip as he crossed his arms in a sassy pose.
"And it would be suicide on your own," God finishes.
"We'll see about that," Lucifer replies before flying away, leaving an exasperated God behind him.

~~

Michael is failing at Super Mario Bros on the Wii with Alexis when he hears the voice inside his head. He stops playing immediately as he listens, which ends up getting him killed by one of those weird turtle things that Michael forgets what to call them.
Michael, I need your help.
Michael glances at Alexis, who's watching him with a puzzled expression. He should probably go see what Lucifer wants, but he doesn't want to stop playing video games with Alexis. He never thought he'd find these small electronic devices so entertaining. Unfortunately, Lucifer never asks for help, and Michael knows this is probably something more important that video games.
"I'll be right back," Michael tells her. "Lucifer needs me for... something..." Without waiting for a response, he flies to Lucifer's side, which happens to be some empty street in Montana, god knows why.
"What?" Michael asks, wanting to get this over with quickly.
"I gave up on working with Team Free Will," Lucifer tells him, for lack of a better name for them. "I'm going after Rob without them."
Michael sighs. "Don't do that. You're going to get yourself killed."
"That's why I came to you."
"Why me? I'm just an archangel, same as you. Ask God."
"I did. He won't help."
"And neither will 'Team Free Will'?"
Lucifer shakes his head. "Nope."
"Ever think that's because this is a stupid idea?" With that, Michael leaves, returning to the mansion where Alexis waits for him.
"What did he want?" Alexis asks.
"Doesn't matter. No one's going to help him with it anyway."
"Do you want to help him?" Alexis asks. "Cuz you can. I can hang out with... um... that other angel if you wanna go help him out."
"Balthazar," Michael substitutes. "And I couldn't help Lucifer, even if I wanted to."
"Could I?" Alexis asks.
"You wouldn't want to," Michael replies.
"But —"
"So, Mario?" Michael interrupts, taking a seat on the couch next to her and picking up the remote.
"Alright..." Alexis resumes the game, which she must have paused when Michael left, and they return to the game as if nothing happened.

~~

Bailey's POV

Gabriel and I are chilling on the couch when Mark Sheppard, Ruth, and Misha finally return to the bunker that night. They look around the room, still a disaster from when Lucifer made his dramatic exit. It's Misha that finally asks, "Was there some nuclear war in here that we didn't know about?"
"No, just Lucifer," Gabriel replies.
"Oh, did he finally leave his room?"
"And the bunker," I add. "Like, for good."
"He's not dead, is he?" Misha asks.
"No," I reply.
"Hey, Cas, not cool," Misha scolds his inner angel. "I know you don't like him, but — Cas, seriously. Stop it."
"What's he doing?" Ruth asks.
"Hating on Lucifer."
"So, the usual?" Mark says. "Since when do you stop him?"
"Since I decided Lucifer's not that bad," Misha replies.
"When did that happen?" Gabriel asks.
"I don't know. A few weeks ago, maybe? We were both bored so we started talking about... something... I don't remember what it was, but that's not the point."
"So you two are friends now?" I ask.
"Well, no. More like acquaintances. I don't think Lucifer will ever actually like anyone. You know, except you and Gabriel. And Michael. Oh, and Macie. That sounds like a lot of people now, but it wasn't in my head."
"Hey, what about me?" Mark whines, appearing on the floor in front of Gabriel and me.
"Right, I keep forgetting you two actually don't hate each other."
"Are you guys sure Lucifer left?" Mark Sheppard asks.
"Yeah, why?" Gabriel replies.
"Mark's still here. Didn't we decide that's not possible?"
"We think he salted the bunker," Mark Pellegrino tells him.
"Well, did you check?"
Mark glances back and Gabriel and me, all of us realizing we probably should have done that.
"Do you really want to go near Lucifer when he's mad?" Misha asks. "I mean, Lucifer in a good mood is one thing, but angry Lucifer? Really, guys?"
"We should probably at least know if he's still here," Gabriel says, though he seems hesitant as he stands up. "Anyone else coming?"
I stand up as well as I say, "I will."
Gabriel and I walk through the halls silently, listening for any sign that Lucifer is here. Unfortunately, by the time we reach his room, it has been dead silent, and we actually have to check. Gabriel knocks on the door quietly, and, when he gets no response, knocks again louder. When it's silent again, we share a look, silently asking each other whether this is worth pursuing.
Gabriel reaches for the doorknob and opens the door slowly, and just the fact that it doesn't close on us is enough to know he's not here. Gabriel flicks on the light and we look around to see everything in the room is neat and orderly, like no one has been in here in years. The only sign anyone was here is the book thrown on the bed, a phone and earbuds lying next to it. Curious, I walk up to the bed and pick up the book, only to see a bunch of weird symbols I've never seen before. Gabriel walks up behind me to see as well.
"What is this?" I ask him.
Gabriel takes the book from me and flips through a couple pages. His eyebrows draw together in confusion and he closes the book to look at the cover. He flips through the first couple pages, muttering something I can't understand under his breath before looks back to me.
"I think he's reading the Odyssey," Gabriel tells me.
"What? How is this the Odyssey?" I ask. "I mean, I read parts of the Iliad and the Odyssey in high school, and this is... weird."
"Because you read the translation," he tells me. "This is the original Greek version."
"He's reading it in Greek?" I repeat incredulously.
"I'm more wondering why he was reading it at all. This is so a couple centuries ago. Wait, when did what's-his-face write this?"
I shrug. "Beats me. You think I payed attention at school?" My eyes drift to the phone on the bed. "I wonder what he was listening to," I muse, picking it up and unplugging it from the charger in the process.
It hasn't locked itself, and it's still open to the music app. The music seems to have been playing for hours, so I don't know what he was listening to, but at the moment, some song called 'Redneck Crazy' is playing. I unplug his earbuds to listen to the song myself. It seems to be about some guy who caught his girlfriend cheating on him and now he's being a dick about it, but I missed most of the song, so I don't really know. I'm ninety-eight percent sure this is country, though.
Bored, I go to the next song, called 'Stay' by Florida Georgia Line. I have to admit, this one isn't that bad. It's some sort of love song, but I find myself sort of getting into it. Still, once I reach the second chorus, I switch to another song. 'Alone With You,' by some guy named Jake Owen. The first verse is very meh, but I can kind of listen to the chorus without puking. It' once again a love song, I guess, but he's the only one in love and the girl is a hoe? Honestly, I don't even know. I don't have the patience to listen to this.
The next one is 'Don't Think I Don't Think About It,' by Darius Rucker. Once again, I don't completely hate the song. I mean, sure, it's country, but it's not too bad, I guess. One common trend I'm noticing is that all of these songs so far have been love songs, but I genuinely have no idea how to interpret this one. Does the guy want to get back with the chick or not?
More important, though, is where can I find some really good music? I know he has some classic rock music on here; I remember walking in on him listening to 'Stairway to Heaven.' Where's that type of stuff?
I have to admit, even if 'Just Getting Started' is country, I'm really into this Jason Aldean song, and same with 'Take It Out On Me' by Florida Georgia Line after that. I can't say I'm as big of a fan of Tim McGraw's 'Find Out Who Your Friends Are,' but they can't all be winners. At least it's not a love song, though. That's a change. And the same guy's song 'Felt Good on My Lips' makes me think that's just one sucky song by someone who can sing less sucky songs. I'm still definitely not into Tim McGraw though.
Brad Paisley, I soon decide, is the best country singer. He has some pretty funny songs, like 'Mr. Policeman' and 'Alcohol.' He also has some that are just genuinely good songs, though, like 'Then.' Florida Georgia Line isn't too bad, either. They've got some pretty catchy songs.
"What even is this?" Gabriel asks randomly as I'm jamming out to Carrie Underwood's 'Cupid's got a Shotgun.'
"No clue," I admit. "Kinda catchy, though."
"It's country," he reminds me.
"All these songs have been country," I tell him.
"I wasn't listening to them," he tells me. "I was attempting to read the Odyssey, but it's so old fashioned with the writing and stuff that I just — I can't. It sucks. More so than Shakespeare. Like, country-level bad."
"I never thought I'd find myself defending country music, but it's not half bad."
"Yeah, right. Find a different song. Any random song. I am ninety eight percent sure it will suck."
"Fine."
I decide to check out the songs he's marked as favorites, just for reassurance that they don't actually suck because I don't know any of these songs. I tap shuffle and let a random song play, called 'Temporary Home' by Carrie Underwood. Gabriel stands there with an expression showing that he's judging it. It's not a love song, but it's not any better. For an idea of what it's about, this is the chorus. "This is my temporary home. It's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."
I pause the song and look over to Gabriel. "This was one of his 'favorites.' You think that means anything?"
"Either he thinks it's a much better song than it is, or leaving wasn't as impulsive a decision as we thought."
"Or both," I add. "I guess the only way to find out would be to see if he can relate to the rest of his favorites."
I skip to the next song, and Gabriel listen to the lyrics to mentally compare them to Lucifer's life. "I'm flat on the floor with my head down low where the sky can't rain on me anymore. Don't knock on my door cuz I won't come. I'm hiding from the storm 'til the damage gets done."
"Well, I've got to admit, it does sound shockingly like Lucifer," Gabriel says. "'Don't knock on my door cuz I won't come'? I don't know about the song itself, but that's the most accurate description of Lucifer I have ever seen."
"Definitely," I agree. "Oh, that's a cool line, though."
"Which one?" Gabriel asks.
"'Can't knock me off my feet if I'm already on my knees."
"It's taking all my willpower not to make a sex joke out of that."
I roll my eyes and skip to the next song. This one is called 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia.' When we hear the fiddle in the beginning, we both immediately decide it's going to suck, but we listen to it anyway just to make fun of it. For those that have never heard the song, it's essential a story set to music. The devil goes to Georgia and makes a deal with some guy named Johnny and whoever plays the fiddle the best wins. As the devil says, "A fiddle of gold against your soul, cuz I think I'm better than you." The devil ends up losing, and that's about it.
"What?" I demand, outraged. "The devil was way better than him! I mean, did they even listen to it? How did the devil think he lost?"
"Plot twist; the devil knows he won," Gabriel tells me. "The whole reason he went to Georgia wasn't to take people's souls; it was to hurt the souls so they don't go to heaven; they'll die and go to hell in a few years instead. I mean, Johnny knew it was a sin to make a deal with the devil, and he did, anyway. Plus, his love for materialistic things is a sin, too. There's some word for that, I'm sure, but I've never read the bible, so I don't know what it is, but whatever. The devil didn't care how good Johnny was; he would let Johnny win anyway, just so he gets Johnny's soul in the long run. I mean, come on. What is the devil even losing here? A golden fiddle? Why would he want a golden fiddle? He can just get a new one anyway."
I pull a Jenna Marbles slow blink on him. "What?"
"I'm overanalyzing the song," Gabriel clarifies.
"Ah. Wait, you never read the bible? You're an angel! You guys live by the bible!"
"I was alive for most of it anyway," Gabriel reminds me. "Why would I read it? Besides, it sucks. It's almost as bad as the Odyssey. But not quite. I think. I never actually read the Odyssey, either."
"Lucky."
Gabriel takes Lucifer's phone without warning, wondering aloud, "I wonder what else he listens to." He plays the next song on the favorites list, which is 'The Devil Went Back to Georgia." Gabriel and I share a look of distaste.
"You think he's in Georgia?" I ask.
"Maybe," Gabriel agrees. "But Georgia's a big state, so even if we wanted to find him, it would take forever. But screw this crap. I want rock music." After a minute or so, Gabriel frowns and hands the phone back. "Nope. Nada. No rock music anywhere. It's all country. And, like, one pop song. But that's it."
"No, he has 'Stairway to Heaven,'" I protest, remembering that time I walked in on him listening to it. But, I observe when I go through his music, even that isn't on here. "Or not. Must've deleted it."
"Wonder why," Gabriel says, sounding genuinely curious. "Anyway, I think we've invaded his privacy enough for one day. We should probably go."
We both turn to leave, but I stop when I see a black book lying in the corner of the room. The light bounces off the golden letters at an angle nearly impossible to miss. I walk over to it and pick it up. After reading the title, I turn it to face Gabriel.
"The bible?" Gabriel reads. "Seriously? Lucifer is reading the bible?"
"Or he just has one," I add. "From... something. Maybe he never read it."
Gabriel takes the book and opens up to a page, revealing a bookmark tucked in there. I don't bother asking how he knew the bookmark was in there. I'm more curious as to why there's a bible here at all.
"I have officially decided three things," Gabriel announces as we walk out of the room. "One: Lucifer has a horrible taste in music. Two: he's wanted to leave the bunker for a while. And three: he's somewhere in Georgia."