Supernatural in Real Life 5

Chapter 60

Meanwhile, Satan

Getting laid is shockingly simple, Lucifer observes. Just hit up any old bar, and there are bound to be drunk girls ready to do the do. He sits up in the bed as... What's her name? Emma? He sits up as Emma rolls onto her back, seeming content.

"We should do that again some time," she slurs.

"Hm." He gestures with his index finger for her to come closer, so she sits up, unfazed by her lack of clothing. She crawls closer to him, and he closes the gap between them until their lips are almost touching. He snaps her neck before she knows what's happening, but hesitates before throwing her body down as he usually does. Maybe he should make this interesting...

He locks all the doors and windows of her house telekinetically, a power he personally finds grossly underrated in the Supernatural universe. He rips her head off entirely, something a human shouldn't be able to do. He tosses her body on the bed, but pauses, holding her head in his hands. What to do, what to do...

He finally decides to just hang it from the ceiling fan, which he turns on, set to the lowest speed. He looks around with a smirk. That's going to make headlines for sure. Locked house murder mystery, coupled with the head ripped off in a way that's not humanly possible and the head hung from the ceiling in a way an animal couldn't have done, either. Maybe he'll come back and check out the newspaper every day until they finally mention it. That ought to be interesting.

~~

I hope you enjoyed your brief Satan narration. Now, back to your regularly scheduled Bailey show.

"Go to sleep," Gabriel says quietly for what feels like the billionth time that might.

"I can't," I reply, just as I have every other time. "I'm worried about Michael."

"Michael will be fine," Gabriel assures me. "He always is."

"But that didn't seem like typical Michael behavior," I protest.

"Don't worry about it. It's not your problem."

"But —"

"Bailey, go to sleep."

I sigh and snuggle up to him. "Okay, fine. G'night, Gabriel."

"'Night, Bailey."

I close my eyes, but I can't seem to fall asleep, no matter how much I want to. I can't stop worrying about Michael. I've never liked the guy, but I can't help but feel bad for him. He just lost his soulmate, for Chuck's sake. He just seems so emotionally detached now. It's hard to believe the entirety of Heaven used to fear his wrath. Now, he's just sort of there. I wish I could help, but I know that he's too far gone for my help.

A/N *awkwardly has no plot anymore*