Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

6.2 The Boyfriend

Carmen was fine with having people over that evening, but not too pleased luring them with the experimental diet pill. Nonetheless, she wasn't angry. I didn't get a call from Zenia until past sunset as she apparently vilified me to her boyfriend. Hell, I did the same thing with Carmen about her.

"She's your rival, yet you're friends again?" Carmen asked as she stirred some congee in a pot.

"We'll be rivals again once I one-up her on how my life has been better than hers."

"Seriously, rivals who make sure you don't succeed in life and act all pompous aren't ones to make amends." She put the lid back on then faced me. "So, did she steal a potential lover of yours or did you invent that just to blow off steam?"

"To be honest, it's both. She did kill a friend I made because her blood smelled sweet, but consequently got indigestion because she had hepatitis. Or was it something else? As far as I know, it was something detectable in blood."

Carmen let out a tiny chuckle as she gave the congee a stir. "You could steal her man if he's hot. Seems fair for what she did."

Just as we were talking about Zenia and her boyfriend, the buzzer went off. After letting them in, Carmen warned, "If this friend of yours starts behaving like a bitch I will cast her out."

"Fair enough."

A knock on the door and I let them inside the apartment. I expected less from her when she commented on the appearance of the place.

"Out of all the high-rises in this city you chose to live in a shitty, two-bedroom apartment. I've seen better decorated oriental themed rooms than this."

"Glad you like it," Carmen retorted. "I arranged it in case we get a visit from Her Royal Highness." She faced me and said, "You're right about her being a pompous bitch."

"Watch your tongue, mortal!" Zenia had to act like a pompous bitch. Carmen's words, not mine, but I'll take it.

"Maybe you should watch yours!" Carmen waved the spoon at her as a priest splashing the congregation with holy water. "It's my flat, and I expel you in three seconds."

Zenia kept her mouth shut, but boyfriend, all tattooed, muscular and curly-haired, placed an arm around her and said some things to her. Something along the lines of "That's okay, baby, you know I always treat you like a queen." He did the thing where he puts a finger under her chin just to bring her head close to his. He even licked the rice grain off her cheek. Gross!

"If you continue with your bratty behaviour," I said stepping up to side with Carmen, "you're not getting a look at the diet pill." Once I've composed myself I continued, "Anyway, this is my roommate, Carmen. Carmen, this is Zenia and her boyfriend. She never told me your name."

Boyfriend broke away from Zenia for a moment while running a hand through his bleach-blond coils. "Name's Brendan," he said with a heavy accent from New Zealand. Perhaps he was from South Africa but he clarified that by adding, "I'm from Brisbane."

"Yes, yes, nice to meet you," Carmen said while nodding her head in an exaggerated, slow manner. In a hoarse whisper she asked me, "Is that a mole or a soul patch?"

I elbowed Carmen. While I agree the brown spot below his lip was questionable, I thought it resembled both since there was hair sticking out from it. Carmen of course buckled from my elbow but as soon as she recovered, she walked into the kitchen to get the congee.

"Well, come on," Zenia said as she and Brendan sat on one couch. He had to sanitize the spot before she even took her seat. "Are you gonna show us the stuff or not? We're in a hurry."