Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

Episode 1 bonus: The House Special

Note: Takes place after the events of Episode 1.5. Announcement to follow.

Carmen walked into the Tavern and scratched her head.

"See Carmen? I told you there'd be a party here."

"But all I see are two bartenders and eight people crowded around a foosball table. This is hardly a party."

That's when I realized the Tavern was filled with ghosts from different eras dancing and chatting away. A bar filled with them was still crowded for me, mostly because I had to walk through them to get to places. If not for the noise of ghosts socializing, it was the chill.

"Is the heat even on?" Carmen put on my jacket over hers. "I swear it's warmer outside."

"I believe you Carmen," I said to her as we stepped inside, "but would you believe me if there are ghosts in here?"

"After what you did, I'm likely to believe anything."

Carmen and I sat at the bar and a man, bare-chested and wearing a leather vest covered in punk rock band logos, approached us.

"Chto ty hochesh?" He said while drying a highball glass.

Carmen leaned in close to me. "Lena, you understand what he said, right?"

"What do you want?" I replied

"What do I want? I want you to tell me what he said."

"That's what he said. 'What do you want?'"

Carmen placed both hands on my shoulders and pulled me in. "We are not doing a Skippy and Slappy routine. That's been done before and you're definitely not stealing that routine to troll me."

She got me there.

"Chuvak! Smeshai firmenny kokteil!" A tall, Circassian woman sporting a braid crown walked over from the other side of the bar.

"Da konechno," the bartender muttered as he moved to where the woman was earlier.

The woman tucked away a strand of loose hair. "Lenuchka, you look like you could use a drink. I have some rakia to, what's the saying, hit the spot?"

I started to nod, but then shook my head no. "Not tonight, but I'd like a change of clothes."

The woman pulled out a hoop trailing with streamers hanging from under the bar. "Get Sanja in the corner help you. She may be a witch but she's also assistant to quick change artist Sembele."

"Sembele and Sanja are here?" Carmen's eyes widened while I took the hoop. "As in --"

"They're my guests and they put on quite a show." She scratched her head then continued, "Lena has told me about you. Carmen, is that correct?"

"That's me. The one and only unless there's another Carmen here. Are you ... Talia?"

I knew the woman was Talia all along and yes I could've mentioned this earlier. It's the bonus content, you should know who I refer to most of the time.

Talia looked behind her then returned to face Carmen. "Unless there's another Talia here. This is your first night here, da?"

Carmen looked at me and at Talia. "I can't say it isn't."

"Then you must try our house cocktail." Talia glanced at the bartender and motioned her head to summon him.

The bartender placed a highball glass filled with a swirling purple and light blue concoction in front of Carmen. "Pozhaluista."

Carmen picked up the drink, and the ghosts crowded around her. "I bet she's gonna pass out from the first sip," Old West Ghost uttered. "They all do."

"I'd give her ten seconds," Pirate Ghost chimed in. "She seems like a seasoned drinker."

She pulled the straw out slightly and took a large sip. Normally, one drop was enough to knock someone out, but she was thirsty.

"Weird, I thought this would taste like blueberry-grape." She put the glass back on the bar just missing the coaster. "Hey, Lena, you said I would --"

Like everyone predicted, she passed out, her head landing next to the drink. Had she stayed conscious for another five seconds, Pirate Ghost would've won the bet.

Talia squatted a little to get assess Carmen. "She's one of the few who lasted longer than expected. I'll give her a free drink of her choice next visit."

"If she ever decides to come back." I hopped off the stool and stepped towards the foosball table. "You still do karaoke nights, right?"

"Every Sunday, provided my esbats don't get cancelled."

"Otlichen." Hoop in hand, I continued my way to change out of this bloody minidress. Literally.

--------------------------------------------------------

What's this? Bonus content? In between doing further edits and planing for other stuff, I may be able to squeeze in something.

Image is a rough, ms paint drawing of the layout of Talia's Tavern. While yes I could describe it in writing, but like Lena said, it's the bonus content. Bonus content can be whatever and include whatever.

The Russian said here is basically the same said in 3.0, except for Bartender's initial lines maybe? For the lazy:

chto vy hochesh --> what do you (plural/formal singular) what?

Chuvak! Smeshai firmenny kokteil! --> Hey buddy, make the house cocktail

Da konechno --> of course

pozhaluista --> Here you go

And the one Bulgarian word Lena utters:

otlichen --> excellent (took it from translating the Russian word otlichno into Bulgarian so if someone has better Bulgarian skills than I do feel free to correct me)

Carmen references Skippy and Slappy who are cartoon squirrels from Animaniacs. There's an episode that the joke I made referencing which can be found on youtube (they're at Woodstock in the 60's)

Last but not least, Let's Go for a Pint made it onto the shortlist for TheWattys 2017 edition. So many thanks to the supporters who may be active readers, ghost readers, or from book clubs I've been in. We'll see how far this'll go. (Feel free to visit their profile to check out the other nominations).