Things I didn't like:
*You should put your flashbacks in italic or bold it helps the readers stay on track of past and present tense.
*You need to start new paragraphs! When someone new talks they get a NEW paragraph.
*Try to find a editor or use spell-check for your grammer honey. It really helps a lot.
*This is based on a true story correct? So, the picture of Jason is very unrealistic. What does having his shirt off have to do with anything in the story? Yes he's hot but, your character has to fit your story. You are looking for the "Jock, jerk, unfaithful" guy type right? So, I would put a picture of a boy being immature or doing something stupid. Because, him just having his shirt off looks like you only care about the way he looks not his personality.
Things I did like:
*As soon as Selena found out her "boyfriend" was cheating on her she kicked him to the curb! She seems like a strong girl.
Overall, I give this 2/5. You need to fix a lot of things. Keep writing though!:D
