Wow. That was actullay really great. I have to say the things I didn't like though so yea.
Things I didn't like:
*You need to fix your grammer and punctuation. I'm suggesting either get a editor, or maybe use Microsoft Word to fix it? I'm no grammer nazi but, these both really helped me and I got more reads on my works.
*It was a bit rushed. I feel like I just read the entire story in two chapters.:P
Things I did like:
*You kept the same flow through the entire two chapters. (Well done on that one.)
*You kept me interested. I want to read more of it now.:)
Overall, 4/5 stars just fix the few mistakes.
