JOKES QUOTES AND PUNZ

worst excuses for missing work

"I was sprayed by a skunk."

"I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious."

"My bus broke down and was held up by robbers."

"I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity."

"I forgot to come back to work after lunch."

"I couldn't find my shoes."

"I hurt myself bowling."

"I was spit on by a venomous snake."

"I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow."

"A hitman was looking for me."

"My curlers burned my hair, and I had to go to the hairdresser.

I eloped."

"My brain went to sleep, and I couldn't wake it up."

"My cat unplugged my alarm clock."

"I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial."

"I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India." (note: she passed away 20 years ago)

"I forgot what day of the week it was."

"Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night."

"A tree fell on my car."

"My monkey died."

(A/N: these are all real excuses employees have used before to get out of work!!)