Presidential candidate

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If I were to answer every question like presidential candidate, I imagine most of my conversations would go something like this...

Friend: Hey, what are gonna do this weekend?

Me: That is a question of much value and importance. My answer to what you are inquiring is that yes, I WILL do something this weekend. But first let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet pleasurable at the same time. We all should.

Friend: But, what are you going to do?

Me: What I am planning to do will involve 3 things. First, it will involve experiencing the full extents of relaxation; second, the activity I choose to engage myself in will bring me joy. Lastly and most importantly, I will avoid getting into a deficit by ensuring that it is cost-effective. About one month ago on this very day I declared that I was going to do something-I kept my word. And I guarantee that this weekend will be no different!

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