Amnesia

Chapter 16

James' POV

I saw her went into her room, sliding down to her knees and hugged them. She was crying. My heart was aching. I wanted to climb over this tree that we always climbed when we were small and kiss her cheek, pamper her. Hug her and tell her everything is going to be alright.

God, I love her so fucking much!

Then, I saw Roe was closing her eyes, trying to hold her pain. I don't know what part is hurting but I know she was suffering because I saw her face cringed.

James, she's hurting! If you don't climb right now I swear you have to kill yourself tonight.

So I did. I climbed the tree and went straight into her room.

I hugged her then change my position to cupping her cheek.

"Baby, " I started slow. I want this moment with her. I hunger for it.

"I know you're hurting and I'm sorry because I'm one of the reason why. Breath and sleep ,love. You're strong. "

Roe, I love you so much. Please don't do this to me.

So I kissed her cheek and put her on the bed.

"Sleep tight, baby. It's been a tough day for you. " I said softly.

I looked at her soft face and wrinkled forehead. Then,I tilt my head and cry. What have I've done? What did I do today? What is wrong with me?

I got up and changed her clothes. I'm not embarrassed to see her body since I closed my eyes while changing her clothes.

Hell yeah I'm ashamed.

I am already triggered by the thought of changing her clothes.

After I change Roe's clothes, I slid down under and put on blanket for both of us. My leg hugged her I kissed her forehead. I do it over and over again because I missed her so much. I miss touching her skin with my lips, I miss how her body wrapped in my arm.

Roe, I am fucking sorry. I'll make it up for us. I promise.

I kissed her cheek for the last time and went to sleep in my room.

Although I know Roe will never know what I did to her just now, but I am so happy that I smile while I sleep.

It'll be a miracle if she knew what I've done and did the same thing to me.

*morning*

I got up and took a hot shower. I want to confront Aurora. Today. I want to make it up for her. For me. I am tired bullying her just because I had listen to that Diana. She's nothing to me while Roe is my everything. My life.

I went down with a nervous face and immediately caught my mom's attention.

"Hey sweetheart. You have presentation today? You look nervous. " Mom took out some waffle that she just made and it smells so good.

"Um, mom, " I stuttered while sat on the dining chair.

Mom put the waffle plate in front of me and our some maple syrup on it.

"Yes? " mom questioned me with her loving eyes.

"I'm going to do something big today. " I admitted.

"Something big I feel it happening out of my control. Pushing pulling and it's–" mom started to singing Something Big by Shawn Mendes. My mom really loved that song because it tells about how you can't affected by other's words.

"Mom, " I chuckled watching my mom shaking her hip and dance.

"Sorry. " she laughed and smiled to me. Then she came towards me.

"Tell me, what's bothering you? "
She sat next to me while dad coming down from upstairs.

"I want to confront Aurora today. "

Then everything went silent. Dad who trying to tie his neck tie while sitting stopped while mom is shocked.

"I know you asked me to stop contacting with her but I couldn't. " I breathed before I speak again.

"This seven years I've been avoiding her by bullying her, "I heard mom gasped.

"By hurting her heart, " I saw dad's eyes widened.

"I couldn't avoid her, I tried but —"my voice began to crack. Shit. "—I missed her. Okay? " I hicuuped.

"That damn note we received wasn't from her. We all know it. Roe knows it. But what she didn't know was the reason I avoided her because I never care to explain to her. I did it because I am scared if I didn't do what her family wants, they'll hurt Roe. " I cried. Tears streaming down on my face and I'm still hicupping.

Mom hugged me and dad came towards me.

"I am sorry if–," I continued to hiccup "if I ever–"

Right before I continue, mom cut me. "Hush, you're doing the right thing. " mom comfortted me.

"Son, chase love not hate. " dad said while hugged me.

This is why they know all of my secret. I love them so much.

"Thank you, guys. Love you. " I said as I wiped my tears and let the hugs go.

"Anything for my baby! " mom screamed and dad prepared to go to work. I took my waffle and swallow it whole (I'm an eater. I could swallow anything in my mouth and still be hungry) and my bag.

Then I started my car and my engine vroom to the school.

When I arrived at school, I don't bother myself to look at girls or even talk to Ash. I just lean against Roe's locker and wait for her.

Then, yesterday's incident flash back in my mind. God, I miss her so fucking much.

While I was having my little flashback, Roe came and surprised when she saw me leaning against her locker.

James, this is your time to shine.

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