Emily.

Emily 23.

Emily!

Soon I was back home, and things still hadn't settled in, Denzel was with me constantly and switched our phones off, and watched me as I watched nothing in particular.

?Em, I made you some food.? He said and put the tray on my lap. I looked at it and stared for a while.

?I'm not hungry.?

?You ain't ate in three days.?

?I'm not hungry.? I said staring at it.

?Come one Em, please.? I got the plate and threw it at the wall. I picked the tray and threw it somewhere.

?I'M NOT HUNGRY!? I shouted and started scratching my face. He pulled my hands away and hugged me. I cried and held onto him, I didn't even talk about it any more, those parents were gutted, I didn't even bother to explain. I hated remembering as well.

?Why does bad things happen to me D, what did I do.? I asked wondering.

?Nothing b, just shh, relax.? He said. I nodded and closed my eyes and started feeling sleepy, I felt him carry me, and soon I was lying in bed. I could hear him in the kitchen. I hated being in this house, it reminded me so much of all the lost ones, it was like these things were purposely happening to me.

?Denzel.? I said. He rushed in and sat by my side.

?Can we go to yours, I can't stand this place, it's dark and quiet, and the memories.? I said quietly. He nodded and helped me get ready, and packed my stuff in there and got himself ready and we left. He drove in silence, and didn't put the radio on like he usually did, we just sat in silence, I looked straight ahead, on the narrow road. We got to his and we went up to his flat. James saw us and immediately got his jacket, and him and the boys left. I stared at Denzel and felt like crying, he came and hugged me.

?It's okay, just think of something positive, it's not the end of the world, it's still carrying on, let's just relax.? He said smiling. I gave a weak smile back and just took a deep breath and sat in the living room while he did a few things. I couldn't even cry any more, I didn't know what I was doing, I was just there really. I was hurting a lot inside, but I'd learn to move on, life must go on. He came back in the room with a duvet and pillow. He smiled at me and I smiled back and watched him make it all perfect for me. I looked at him long enough and he caught me staring and picked me up and put me down and sat next to me and wrapped us up.

?You alright?? I nodded and put my head on his arm and he changed the channel and we watched some sky movie channel. I sighed and played with his t-shirt. I looked at him and he was so into his film. I touched his face and sat up looking at him, he looked at me lost and I smiled and went close to him and kissed him. He let me and kissed me back, and it was just like Christmas night again, it meant something, well to me anyways. He didn't pull away, we just let it, and I touched him tenderly. I knew what I was doing and it was wrong, I just wanted to replace something in my life, by using him, and I can't, he's my best friend. I pulled away slowly, and he smiled at me. I bit my nails and was thinking, he was staring at me and smiling.

?Okay?? I nodded.

?Sorry about that.? I said. He shook his head.

?Why you sorry??

?Because you hate it.?

?No I don't, your upset, if you like take all the anger out on me.? He smiled. I laughed lightly and hugged him.

?I love you.? I said.

?Me too!? I sighed and played with his T-shirt. My mind was starting to go fuzzy, I started feeling so odd. I ran my hands down his arm and his hands met mine and we locked them together.